I am a new member, driven to this website by an incident which happened Saturday. I physically attacked a man who tried to run me off the road by going around me in the snow. I couldn't let it go. I confronted him; he insulted me by calling me a c**t. I smacked him in the face with my car keys twice and kicked his SUV several times, called him a bad name though not a nasty one. He said he bet my c**t reeked. We finally drove off in separate directions. This is an abbreviated version of the incident. I am sick and ashamed that I lost control, afraid of that rage within me which was completely spontaneous. Afraid of being arrested. I get angry in traffic a lot but this is the worst thing I've done. Lately my dog got sick and died. She was my world. I am so depressed and wish I would just die already, especially after all that has happened recently. I have terrible insomnia and cannot seem to get any rest. It seems I am always on the lookout for trouble, and it finds me because of how negative and poisonous my anger is. I cannot behave this way any longer. There are other things I am angry about which have built up over years and I know I am being unreasonable but I just snap over things sometimes. I've lost jobs because of this and I am afraid to be in a relationship or even friends with anyone because I think if they saw the ugliness in me they would run. I am ashamed of myself all the time and I don't know what to do. My anger is the most god-awful thing in my life. Does anyone out there know how it feels and is there any hope?
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