
Anger Management Support Group
Anger management commonly refers to therapeutic techniques by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce their emotions. Typical examples include the use of deep breathing and meditation as a means to relaxation. Psychologists recommend a balanced approach, which both controls the emotion and allows it to express itself in a healthy way.
What's worse is that I know, scientifically, that being angry all the time trains my body *not* to be happy. Put simply, over the years, my biology has adapted to being angry all the time and has created more and more anger hormone receptors in my body and makes less happy hormone receptors.
Yet even knowing that, in my logical mind, I can't stop being angry. I can control it so it doesn't show like it did when I was a kid/teen, but it's still there.
Basically, it takes a concerted and concentrated effort on your part to *not* get angry. I know, I know, that's the clutch for all of us suffering from anger related problems. However, if you consciously halt the anger early and actually look for good things, happy things, you can begin to rebuild your 'happy' receptors. The anger receptors will still be there, but as they are used less they will slowly either 'die' or will be overrun by 'happy' receptors.
The whole idea of 'mind over matter/body' holds quite a bit of truth. Our brains, hormone glands especially, dictate what sorts of chemicals go out into our bodies. So, if you can move your thoughts from negative to positive, you will notice the lessening of the rage.
LOL, however, like I said, it's easier to know the logic than it is to follow it. I know this works - I began employing these techniques after the birth of my first child. However, it's very hard to shake off habits - and yes, anger is a habit. The endorphins and hormones an angry reaction pump into your system are needed by all the receptors your body has created. So in effect, you/we are addicted to anger. Sounds crazy, but there is hard science to prove this. And it's easy to slip up and fall back into old patterns.
Through determination and dedication, I can say that while I'm still furious, I don't take it out on my children. Even when I've been pushed to the brink, I have created a calm place where I seem to have endless patience, LOL, when it comes to them. So see, it does work. But it is work too.
My anger issues are related to one cluster of (mostly religious) topics, and depending on how those things are playing out in my life I have more or less anger overall in other parts of my life.
I'm angry over unresolvable/institutional issues as they play out in my personal life and relationships. I have been raging angry about them for almost 25 years now. It puzzles me that on some days simply remembering the original events can still make me scream my throat raw.
It will start out with some trigger (and at this time of year, with all the xmas stuff around, the triggers are unavoidable), I'll get stuck in some mental loop, getting more and more worked up until I'm shrieking in my car. It's really hard to change the subject once it gets started. Tends to happen more when I'm under stress. But why should something that happened 25 years ago still make me as angry as if it had just happened?
For the most part, anger is a reaction and in most cases, its natural. I remember when I could have been the happiest person on the planet and I would just glance at people and they would scatter away from my presence. I don't think that was a ego boost instead it only led me to want to actually be kinder and learn to control my anger. If you feel normal and your angry then I think you can control it if you try hard enough. I believe we all can control if we just put forth the effort to want to. Do you know what I mean?
I'd have outbursts all the time for no reason and this has been going all the way from then till now and I'll be 17 jan. 3, 2008.
I've been on different medications and stuff and its like I feel a good feeling from being angry sometimes. like i hate hurting others i love but at the same time i get this rush from being angry and selfish and mean.
I cant explain it but I've definitly tried to overcome it a lot more in certain situations.
I know I am smart, talented, funny and a good person .. but I have so many insecurites about "me" it has just affected my whole existance.
When one of those triggers happen, I have to consciously put the kibosh on the train streaming into chaos. It doesn't work all the time, but something I find that works is that the only power the past has over me is what power I give it.
Memories are potent, they engage a lot more than just visual imagery. But it's over, for bad or good. The kind of anger I have the most problem with now is due to situations that are yet to come, or are in the now, where I feel I have no control.
ROFL, I know, I sort of exchanged my out of control rage (though the rage is still there, don't mistake me) for an extremely controlling personality. I don't know that its better, but it is less caustic than bleeding anger all over my children.