My mom made a point today to tell me ever since I moved back in with her I'm angry - all the time. She's right - I won't deny it. I am so angry all the time. And it's like I'm a lit fuse, ready to blow at any time.

I was involved in an abusive relationship for 11 years. At first it was just subtle things he would say, then it started to escalate and escalate. I feel like I morphed through the relationship. In the beginning I was in the corner, cowering, begging him not to get angry and shout at me. Then begging him not to hit me. Then I started getting angry. Why not? He did it - that was how he resolved all of his issues - he got angry. So I started getting angry and I started abusing him right back. Nothing physical - but verbally and emotionally.

I don't blame everything on him - that would be foolish and selfish. But I know as a result of some of what happened - there is blame to be placed.

I'm out of the situation - I feel better about myself, about the choices I'm making - so why am I still so angry?

Example: I am living in a rural town - it's been a long time since I've lived in such a rural area. The local bank here prints the account number - the full account number - on every receipt. So if you make a deposit, a withdrawal - whatever - they put the account number on there. My mom has asked why they do this, I've asked, we even met with a bank representative and we were assured they did not need to do this and would stop.

Well we went to another branch, same town, on Friday and the woman printed the full account number on the receipt. So I asked her - why did they feel it necessary to print the account number? She tells me, in this voice that I was about to go across the counter, "well if you ask me not to I won't."

I was so pissed off. I mean seriously - if you ask me? What the hell are you talking about - I shouldn't have to ask you not to do that.

Then this morning, I concert tickets, the band cancelled due to illness. So I called Tickemaster to inquire about getting a refund. I get this "Zita" on the phone who proceeds to tell me (in what I perceived to be a smartass tone) "the event is not cancelled and until..." I was like, "lady, I received an email from the band's website, the show is cancelled." But my point is I was so angry with the situation and with her (again perceived) tone - I just hung up on her and threw the phone down.

Now what the hell is wrong with me? I mean there is no need for me to continue to act this way - but yet I can't stop myself.

I hate being like this. I hate being the one who's got the smartass comments all the time. I hate being the one who flys off the handle now - that was never me. If anything I was always the calm one - I admit - maybe a little too calm but now? Now I'm angry and it takes very little to push me over the edge.

What can I do? And I'll be honest, inspirational sayings aren't going to cut it. I need some sound advice. I hate that my anger is flaring so much that so many people around me are noticing it - not just me!!!!

Suggestions?