
Anger Management Support Group
Anger management commonly refers to therapeutic techniques by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce their emotions. Typical examples include the use of deep breathing and meditation as a means to relaxation. Psychologists recommend a balanced approach, which both controls the emotion and allows it to express itself in a healthy way.

deleted_user
My major issue comes from never feeling like people hear me. I always felt growing up like an outsider in my family. They all got along while I never fit in. Often I would be speaking to one of them and would get interrupted by another family member. Then they would act like I was being hyper-sensitive or imagining that they treated me this way. It wasn't until I got older and had friends or boyfriends around at family dinners and such and with out my prompting they would comment on it as well. Now, often my husband doesn't listen to what I have to say and I can no longer take it. So I end up losing control and yell. This is so out of my normal character it scares me. Sometimes I yell in front of my 2 year old and it upsets him. I don't know how to be heard with out yelling. Help! I don't want to upset my children, but I can't just not express my needs. I have sever chronic fatigue immuno defficiency syndrome and get little to no support from anyone.
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I have residual anger issues as well because of this. I got used to using angry outbursts as a defense mechanism, just to get everyone to leave me the $%^& alone. Maybe this is what is going on with your husband. Does he insist, like your family, that the problem is your being oversensitive? I wish i could propose a solution, but I still struggle with this with my own family, they still insist it is me and not them. Couple's therapy might be useful, the therapist can validate your feelings and maybe then your husband might be convinced to change.
I know all too well that it doesn't work. Yes, when I yell people hear me, but all they hear is my voice, and they don't want to hear it. They just want me to shut up. I am having an extremely difficult time communicating with my fiance right now because of this. I constatly feel like he doesn't hear me. Mostly because no matter what I say he doesn't respond the way I want him to. For instance, I'll ask him a question and he will just say something completely off the wall like he didn't even hear the question. I know he does it because he doesn't want to answer the question but that just makes me even more angry.
I've tried everything I know to change things. I've tried talking softer, I've tried writing instead of talking, I've spent hours thinking about what I really want to say to try to say things in a way that doesn't make him feel defensive....
It's hard to handle because all you want is for your feelings to be validated or someone to show you they care about what you are saying. My fiance's excuse, when he gives one, is usually the same. He doesn't know what to say to make me feel better, and he doesn't know what to do to make me feel better, so he just doesn't do anything. Sometimes I wish I could just get it through his head that doing or saying nothing just makes me feel like he doesn't hear me at all and doesn't care. No matter how many times I have told him that, he just doesn't seem to get it.
I think right now he feels like all I ever want to talk about is problems, and he just doesn't want to.
I've been trying something new and so far it is helping me to not feel so angry all the time. I am just talking to him about petty things like the weather, TV shows, things we are doing, what he wants for dinner, or silly things like that and just letting the problems go for a little while. I know they aren't going to go away, and my feelings aren't going to change, but it's helping. It's giving me time to just feel like we can talk again without fighting. When I have worked through some of my anger and feel like I can talk to him about the problems again without yelling, I will find time to talk about the problems again at a time when we are both relaxed and have no distractions.
I read your post and I hear you!
I validate your feelings!
when you are not heard or ignored, it is easy to blow up after a while!
i know!
Keep talking to us and maybe that will help dispel some of it.
Billi