Hi...I'm 34 days clean today from weed. Lately I am feeling very angry about blaming myself for the divorce,we divorced back in jan.2007.I dont regret getting a divorce. I always thought I smoked weed to help with my bi-polar illness but in reality it was too escape life issues. This is the first time I have felt so much anger over this. I always pretty much blamed myself,and was just glad my ex and I could be friends still. BUT I am sick of blaming myself and pretending he was this "perfect" person. He was great father,but lousy husband. He did say he was unhappy in the marriage for 10 yrs before I finally left him. I did do things that I'm not proud of...and he knew what was going on..but just let it continue. I believe he didnt want to be the "bad guy" and end it so he waited for me too. I have never dealt with these things,just "smoked" them away..and now WOW the anger is overwhelming and scary. I know in order to stay clean these are things I have to deal with so I can move on and be truly happy.Its very scary though when the anger creeps up...i tried to call him,but got the answering machine. I just need answers to my questions. I hate to bring up the past...but I have to deal with it to move into the future,and find true happiness.
Can anyone relate???
Can anyone relate???
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