I'm going through mixed emotions lately, having gone through a breakup recently from my partner of 4 years. I had to move in with my father to make ends meet.I've noticed an increse of internal anger that's expressed harshly, and people around me noticing it and reminding me of it alot lately. I'm having a hard time defining why I'm so angry all the time. I feel resentful and sarcastic towards others, and my mind wonders why I feel alone. I attempted recently to rekindle a friendship of 17 years. We started to frequent bars, basically trying to get me out again to meet new people. I started to party a bit too hard, and found myself the last two times become defensive and start yelling at my friend. This last time ended up with me having a black eye, and a bruised ego. Its funny how falling flat on your face makes you realize how big of a problem you have. Tonight my father started a political debate with me. I wasn't feeling in the mood to debate him. I asked him to please drop the subject 4 times. He pushed and pushed. It ended with the two of us bickering and him telling me I need to find another place to stay. I'm falling hard, and I know I need guidance to figure out why everything feels like its caving in on me. I have to make it through this semester...I'm hopefully graduating in May.
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