almost three years out from bka.I have read several of yalls and almost makes mine seem like nothing. Still, I have not changed my life, fought like the devil was after me to maintain it, and have trouble with sores, hip and knee pain....cannot even describe phantom pain...Ive been riding my whole life, rodeoed, been broken many times and never been through anything like this.Doctors tell me to quit, but they wont offer to pay my bills.Horses is all I know. Plus I have a 15 year old son that MUST perceive me as strong Thought time would make me atronger...getting weak minded about this...people perceive me as strong and fearless that I still ride and train. It isnt bravery, it is FEAR that makes me continue.Not fear of horses, fear that I will become dependent or lose my way of life. My family, no-one knows that.Raised a cowboy. expeceted to cowboy up.I do and have. my mind is screwing with me. not used to talking so if i dont do it right,pardon me. need friends that maybe share some of this.don't need praise.don't need pity. need coping skills.
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