I would love to hear from someone who has had to place a family member in a nursing home because of dementia. I knew all the emotional hurt would not end when mom was admitted. I knew there would be an adjustment time. It is a month now and it keeps getting worse and worse for me. Every night when I get ready for bed in my house in my bed I think mom will never be home again. Anything that is enjoyable in what we call the normal world she will not experience again. I am not able to visit my mother without her holding onto me and begging with her last breath to save her from that place. That alone makes it so difficult to visit her. I am stuck between feeling so bad that she is living in a dementia unit and so angry that I cant have much communication with my mother. All my emotions are so strong. Sometimes I think of the strangest things. When I am not able to visit my mom because I am helping my 92 year old father I begin to remember anything my mother ever did wrong. I guess I am trying to justify not visiting. I dont want to remember things like that. I have had a wonderful loving mother. I knew this would be hard but I really did not realize how hard. Does it ever get better? I know mom needs to where she is. I know she is getting the help she needs. I know dad can not care for mom anymore. I know I cant take care of mom. I know I am helping my father but it doesnt seem like enough. Marcia
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