When my mom got alzheimers and my dad got to the point that he couldn't take care of her by himself, he asked one of my sisters if she would be willing. She left a managerial position and moved in with him with her husband and two of her kids. My oldest sister, an RN with Hospice at the time, said that she didn't "do geriatrics, and my Dad had made an unholy alliance in desperate measures". My youngest sister said that she had a family of her own to take care of and she didn't have to help, "mom said". My sister and I both still had 6 year olds at home. My brother helped out my dad when needed and eventually his new wife would send meals over. The church for four years sent meals several times a week, and I brought up a meal every Saturday (I missed a few) from 90 miles away for five years. My dad had a huge barn and arena built on his place so that my sister could have an income while taking care of Mom. My mom's sisters never had a problem with her care, and after 5 years my mom didn't have a bedsore until the two weeks before she passed away at 72, Hospice was impressed with how well her skin looked. I never had any nurse training but tried to help my sister as much as possilbe and could take over when she had to be away. My problem is that the two sisters who didn't help, treat my sister who did with contempt and ignore her like she doesn't exist. She still lives with my Dad and covers most of the bills for him. Both these sisters are heavy into the church and loudly carry their faith outwardly but have nasty downgrading comments about me and my sister and my sister's family. It's hard because although we have the same beliefs we can't do a reconciliation because they are the type that sits way up on the pedestal and look down their noses at us as if we are beneath them. It's really bad, I'm just touching on the problem and know we weren' t raised like this. My mom was a very devout, giving, woman and raised us to Love the Lord, but this is beyond explanation.
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