Alzheimer's Disease Support Group
Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...
My Mom is 84 years old. My aunt lives alone upstairs and she lives alone downstairs. I have always be close to me Mom, and I live a few blocks away from her. Since I'm her only daughter she relies on me for EVERYTHING since my dad passed 9 years ago. I've always been there for her and always will be. Her short term memory has gotten really bad over the last two years. (She'll put something away and forgets where she put it. She repeats herself within a 5 minute conversation. Any small change can set her off and throw her into a complete panic.) Of course, I'm the first one she calls about everything. I try calming her down on the phone and always run over and "fix the problem".
Recently I've been getting so frustrated with her and then this overwheming guilt comes over me. Then I cry and call her up and say, "Mom I'm sorry, I'm having a bad day."
I've recently thought about suicide when she passes because I know I can't deal with losing her and not having her in my life. I'm so afraid of the future because Alzheimer's runs in her family and I've seen how this dreaded disease can slowly and painful rob one's dignity away. I've noticed in the past month that she has that same look in her eyes that my Grandma had, it's a look of lost and emptiness.
I don't know what more to say, I just needed to post this and let my feelings out.
Recently I've been getting so frustrated with her and then this overwheming guilt comes over me. Then I cry and call her up and say, "Mom I'm sorry, I'm having a bad day."
I've recently thought about suicide when she passes because I know I can't deal with losing her and not having her in my life. I'm so afraid of the future because Alzheimer's runs in her family and I've seen how this dreaded disease can slowly and painful rob one's dignity away. I've noticed in the past month that she has that same look in her eyes that my Grandma had, it's a look of lost and emptiness.
I don't know what more to say, I just needed to post this and let my feelings out.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Hugs to you and prayers for you and your mother.
Your mom is in a difficult part of her life, she needs love, understanding and care. Gail813, you cannot pressure yourself to do all of the caregiving for your mom. You must get in touch with other family members, special services in your area and come up with a doable plan to provide the needs your mom deserves.
Remember, we are here to give you support.
As painful as it is to hear, death is a part of life. I don't like that AD is taking my Mom a little at a time...in fact I hate it. I know she wouldn't want me to end my life after she's gone...and I don't want to. I work very hard at having a well rounded life with plenty to keep me busy and interested.
You may want to see a counselor. It was life changing for me. I went for six years when I was in my thirties.
Good luck. Write me anytime.
Queenie
Hang in there
Congrats on 10 years. I have 15 years. :-)
queenie
From what you've written it sounds to me like your mom already has AD and not just the very early stages. If there is any way you can get her into a doctors for a good evalutation it should be done.
If there has been alzheimers in the family you are probably aware of how confused these people can be and she should not be living alone once she gets past the first stage as her confusion could cause her to do things that are harmful to herself.
I know how hard this is to do, my husbad has alzheimers and it is just heartbreaking to watch him fade away and lose his ability to do all the things he used to enjoy. He is only 54 and has early onset which is somehow so much worse. There is a part of us that accepts that older people may get alzheimers and become confused but to see a young man who should have many good, prodcutive years ahead of him become a shell of what he was even a few months ago it is heart breaking.
You do need a break too and can't shoulder the full burden of caring for your mother alone, please find support where you are and know that those of us here will do whatever we can to help you through this.