I really need some support and advice. I cant stand this any longer. My mother has been in a nursing home approching three months now. From the very beginning she begged us to take her home. She cries the entire time my father or I visit. We thought with time she would stop doing this but she hasnt. No adjustment at all. It has become worse every week she is there. Two days ago I visited mom. I took her some clothing that is better for the Fall and Winter weather. She breifly talked about the clothes then went right into crying at the top of her voice and begging. Each time she goes further and further with her emotions and had gotten to the place where she told me she wants to die. On this last visit she told me she has plans to get out of there. I listened but she didnt say what I thought she would say. She begged me over and over to cut her throat and end her torture. She then said if would not do this she would get one of the nurses to cut her throat. She went on and on asking me to do this and do it now. Not to make her wait longer. Of course I tried to stop that talk but she continued. Her eyes looked wild. She then explained she knew were the knives were kept, kitchen knives and she was going to get one. She could then cut her throat or push it into an electrical outlet. OH God. She had me in tears to the point that her room mate told my mother to stop that kind of talk righ tnow. Her roommate is always telling her that her life is good she just doesnt know what a hard life is, which is true. I left the room reported what my mother had said to the nurse. That nurse called the nurse practioner that is there.They have begun safety measures and began mom on an antidepressants. Me, mom is going to get me depressed. I know mom is depressed and now know it is deeper then I thought. Can anyone understand the terror of having your mom ask you to kill her? It is terrible. Absoluetly terrible. I dont want to visit her at all but I also have to know if she is getting better or worse. Anyone have anything to say that I should be thinking of? I mean in coping with this kind of dangerous behavior. I am worn out, really worn out. Thank you if got through this entire post. Oh, I dont worry that mom will actually get a hold of a knife because those drawers are always locked if there is not an employee in the area. Mom is thinking and planning on how to get out of there. I dont know there is anything else I can do other then report it, get her started on medicine and see what the staff has to say. I dont know how to take care of me. Marcia
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