Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...

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Grieving for Mom, Taking Care of Dad

deleted_user
deleted_user
It's only been a couple weeks since mom died.
I'm helping take care of dad..I'm full time mom,wife, self-employed, work full time. Husband
works out of town during week. Daughter getting ready for her sr. year H.S....proms, graduation,
etc... Am finding it hard to divide my time, as
I want to give as much time to take care of dad,
and give my sister a break, (she lives with dad now), and not ignore the important things going on in my daughters life right now, not let my business suffer ( I still need $$) And am
missing my MoM so MUCH. She died very suddenly.
We always thought it would be dad first. I was
ready ( or thing I am) for his passing. I'm finding it difficult to be Happy these days.
Any suggestions on 'self-therapy" so to speak???
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand completely about your business; it was one of the primary reasons we ended up having to put Dad ina nursing home, as I was needed to work in the business, and could not do it all. I think you need to sit down and figure your priorities out, then level with everybody about what they are, and how you want to proceed. You cannot do it all, and no one can expect that of you. Don't forget to factor in some "me" time, too, as that will help you with everything else. It may be time to consider getting some extra help with something, either putting your dad in daycare a day or two a week, or hiring a service to help you at home.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The best advice I can give you is that there are no easy answers (don't we all wish the easy button was real!). Grieving is hard enough without having to deal with all the other pressures of life. Sometimes taking one day at a time is the best we can do - others days its taking one breath at a time. Enjoy each moment you have with the ones you love in your life. Your Dad and Daughter can't be replaced -
I didn't want this to be depressing. I am usually a very level headed but silly person. this sounds all gloom and doom...think happy thoughts! The blooming flowers, the coming summer, spring rain...should I start singing! "When I remember my favorite things, then I don't feel so bad!"
Peace be with you and all that jazz!
GeorgiaW
GeorgiaW
Allow yourself time to grieve and remember there is no right time. The pain will ease over the days and weeks ahead but also be prepared to suddenly find yourself struck with grief as though she had just died yesterday. The right amount of time for this process is what YOU need.
I would also tell you to simplify your life as much as you can. You can't do everything for everyone so don't beat yourself up. Let go and let others help. Find out if there is respite care in your area that can help your sister with your father. Hugs, Georgia
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