
Alzheimer's Disease Support Group
Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...
Try to be patient, difficult though it may be at times. Good luck!
AD attacks the higher brain functions first which lets the more primitive part of our brain which we usualy keep under control take over to a larger extent. I'm talking that old "flight or fight" survival of the fittest part of the brain that doesn't have the ability to use rational thought to monitor behavior.
Just remember it's not your dad doing these things, the man who raised and loved you would be horrified if he was aware of what he is doing now. Just keep loving him and remembering him as he was.
MOM was a very determined, strong willed, agressive person. She had a view on everything and anything, and spent most of time causing problems because she was so vocal. She was the type of person who wanted to be the center of the world, and expected to get her way.
Now, she is so quiet, rarely says anything. Will smile and is very forgetful and does not always remember where she is living. At times, she remembers things in the past, and will talk freely about it, but in the next breath, she can't recall what she had for breakfast. She has fallen twice, refuses to wear the alert necklace, does not want anyone to help her, but knows she has too.. she gets angry.
DAD is a different story. He has always been very vocal, demanding, expects what he wants when he wants it without an excuses. Now, did is the same, but even more so. He demands even the cook at the home, learn how to prepare the food better. He makes demands on the caregivers to come WHEN HE WANTS WHATEVER or WHAT HE TH INKS MOM WANTS. When dad is around, he answers for mom,he makes decisions for her. I can tell this irritates her so much.
My husband and I have talked to the caregivers and home administrator several times over this first year. THey are well aware of how dad acts and they seem to be patient, more so than I, I must admit.
I affraid dad is protecting mom so much that he is limiting her and it could mean she looses what self esteem she has left.
I don't expect a cure, by any means. He is not physically agressive, just brutally disrespectful vocally. He is easily angered and is against any help.
I am also concerned about his finances. He is somewhat comfortable financially, but he does have to watch more closely now. He does not want to give up writing checks. It would be much better for the home, me and his accounts if they were automatically dispersed. I am concerned that he gets too free with his funds and one day I get a call telling me he has blown his account. He has already purchased a major GIFT for the home. He wanted mom to be remembered.
BOth of my parents have many other medical issues. I just want their last few years to be pain free and as comfortable as can be.
Sorry this message was so long, but I had so much to vent.
Thank you
cjosie