Alzheimer's Disease Support Group
Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...
Hello, I am new to this website. From what I am reading, it looks like it may be a blessing to me.
My mom was diagnosed with Dementia/AD almost 2
years ago. At that time she lived alone with her 7 cats. Up until 7 months ago she stayed alone pretty much until it became apparent that she needed to have someone around most of the time, especially at night. Since then my 2 brothers and I have tried to take turns taking care of her. My older brother and I try to stay with her in her home as much as possible. especially in the evenings.( Mom hates to leave her house and 7 cats)! My younger brother takes her to his house. This is always a problem because Mom does not want to go. And when she gets there she wants to come home. She does this to me too. There are times when I have to be home. I live 30 miles away from my Mom. I am married with a 16 year old daughter at home. I have a 21 year old daughter that is pregnant and ready to deliver any minute now. She is living with me too. I have 3 horses 6 barn cats, 2 outside dogs, and 1 inside cat. I work fulltime as a Medical Lab Technologist. I have been employeed at the same hospital for 28 years. I have a partime job at another hospital in this area. Right now I am on family leave so I can take care of my Mom. My leave expires on Nov 19,2007. This past summer my cousin came to stay with my Mom. She was out of work for a while due to an injury. We paid her for 4 month to take care of Mom. For the most part it worked out ok. Toward the end my Mom did not want her there anymore. They argued with each other alot. My mother got violent with my cousin. When my cousin left it was up to my brothers and I to resume taking care of Mom again. I got my Mom qualified for Medicaid. On Tuesday, a home health care agency funded by Medicaid is coming to access her needs. They can come in 12 hours a week, daytime only and help. This will help some, but we were hoping for some night time relief. We can't afford to have a private company come in and stay with her at night. We tried that before my cousin came this past summer. For 2 nights a week, they wanted $300.00 dollars.
I have research some assisted living facilities. Some of them will let her have pets. Not 7 cats, but she can take 1 or 2. She says she is "ready for the old ladies home" as she calls it, but I know if we pushed it, she'll refuse. I have taken her to look at some before. She says their nice but she doesn't want to leave her home and cats!
We are very frustrated!. We want to do the right thing for her. Now that she has Medicaid, they will pick up most of the cost.
When I go back to work in a few weeks, I don't know if I'll be able to keep doing what I've been doing. I pay all her bills, keep up with her medicatiion Rx's, take he to Dr. appointments, grocery shop,keep her company, etc, etc. Plus try to run my own household and help my daughter with a new baby in it.
I read some of the advise on this website on how to get them into some of these facilities. My question is do they have to be declared incompetent? What if they don't want to stay?
When my mom did her will 7 years ago, she gave me Durable Power of Attorney, and named me The Health Surrogate. But she has not been declared legally incompetent, so how do you get them to do things they don't want to even though it's for their own good? I live in the State of Florida if that helps any. Thank-you for listening. Any advice it GREATLY appreciated. mjmp
My mom was diagnosed with Dementia/AD almost 2
years ago. At that time she lived alone with her 7 cats. Up until 7 months ago she stayed alone pretty much until it became apparent that she needed to have someone around most of the time, especially at night. Since then my 2 brothers and I have tried to take turns taking care of her. My older brother and I try to stay with her in her home as much as possible. especially in the evenings.( Mom hates to leave her house and 7 cats)! My younger brother takes her to his house. This is always a problem because Mom does not want to go. And when she gets there she wants to come home. She does this to me too. There are times when I have to be home. I live 30 miles away from my Mom. I am married with a 16 year old daughter at home. I have a 21 year old daughter that is pregnant and ready to deliver any minute now. She is living with me too. I have 3 horses 6 barn cats, 2 outside dogs, and 1 inside cat. I work fulltime as a Medical Lab Technologist. I have been employeed at the same hospital for 28 years. I have a partime job at another hospital in this area. Right now I am on family leave so I can take care of my Mom. My leave expires on Nov 19,2007. This past summer my cousin came to stay with my Mom. She was out of work for a while due to an injury. We paid her for 4 month to take care of Mom. For the most part it worked out ok. Toward the end my Mom did not want her there anymore. They argued with each other alot. My mother got violent with my cousin. When my cousin left it was up to my brothers and I to resume taking care of Mom again. I got my Mom qualified for Medicaid. On Tuesday, a home health care agency funded by Medicaid is coming to access her needs. They can come in 12 hours a week, daytime only and help. This will help some, but we were hoping for some night time relief. We can't afford to have a private company come in and stay with her at night. We tried that before my cousin came this past summer. For 2 nights a week, they wanted $300.00 dollars.
I have research some assisted living facilities. Some of them will let her have pets. Not 7 cats, but she can take 1 or 2. She says she is "ready for the old ladies home" as she calls it, but I know if we pushed it, she'll refuse. I have taken her to look at some before. She says their nice but she doesn't want to leave her home and cats!
We are very frustrated!. We want to do the right thing for her. Now that she has Medicaid, they will pick up most of the cost.
When I go back to work in a few weeks, I don't know if I'll be able to keep doing what I've been doing. I pay all her bills, keep up with her medicatiion Rx's, take he to Dr. appointments, grocery shop,keep her company, etc, etc. Plus try to run my own household and help my daughter with a new baby in it.
I read some of the advise on this website on how to get them into some of these facilities. My question is do they have to be declared incompetent? What if they don't want to stay?
When my mom did her will 7 years ago, she gave me Durable Power of Attorney, and named me The Health Surrogate. But she has not been declared legally incompetent, so how do you get them to do things they don't want to even though it's for their own good? I live in the State of Florida if that helps any. Thank-you for listening. Any advice it GREATLY appreciated. mjmp
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
He has done such as:
1. Buy a BabyGrand Piano for the home
2. Tip the people who do the cleaning of their suite (which is paid for with monthly charge for their care of $4000. a month, not counting meds and doctors care)
3. He pays people to take him shopping.They have a bus that takes anywhere they need to go, but he gets it in his mind, he demands to be taken wherever.
4. I have inquired about incompetency issue but in SC, the patient has be totally unable to deal with anything.
5. It is difficult for me to even get a good handle on their condition, even when they go to the hospital..
It is so frustrating.
Just remember, you are not alone. Take care of yourself.That is one thing I have learn from being a member of this thread.
cjosie
Then I would talk to the facilities that you can have a good dialogue with. Ask them what their requirements are for admitting and explain your situation.
One thing that took me a long time to realize what that I was now the mother and she was becoming the child. You will have to make the decisions from now on, but it helps to be creative if you can find anyway to let them think they did it.
I would find the best facility you can and work towards it. Her being left alone will become increasingly hazardous to her.
My sister and I both lived in different states from her when we realized what was going on. We made a jillion long distance calls trying to get help for her, when lo! and behold! she suddenly put her house up for sale and moved herself into a facility (assisted living).
It was a great relief to know she was being taken care of.
Hope this helps. Let me know if I can help you anymore. My mother is now in the final stages and on hospice care. It's a really long good-bye.