For me it's working step 4 and so on. It does work! if we work it. I know what you are saying, tho.

Just BE honest. BE BRAVE. Admit you have a problem and are working hard to get it under control. Apologize when you are sober and let your friends and loved ones know you are struggling.

If calling is too hard, write a letter and mail it. Face to face would be best though.

Allow yourself to BE vulnerable. You are Human, it's allowed.

BE WELL.

First things first tho, mschif. I work the 12 steps program. I have to in order to keep the process of stuff like this in order. So we aren't volnerable and so we don't start the blame game. To put yourself out there without acknowleding our part of the problem, and only our part, is not good...for us or the others who we have harmed or who we feel has harmed us.

Mschif, you work a different program than most of us here. I don't know what Missy is doing, but I really do believe there is an order to the 12 steps if she chooses to do them. And it starts with step 1, then 2, then 3, then 4. We have to do work here in order to get it right.

It's in the BB, and it's a good thing I didn't try to write it, but if I try it a different way...lol...I'm screwed.

I am only offering this advice. Not saying you have to do it this way, but it's what is going to work for me, because it did before.

Yes, honesty is the key. It's hard to get over the shame of the things that we did when drunk. I lived in shame and it sucked; I could be there again if I don't work my chosen program. It's hard to sit face to face with someone and say, "I'm sorry." But guess what? Doing so is not only a great releaf, but it shows courage, character, self-respect, dignity, and integrity. If you aren't ready for face to face apologies, try writing a letter. Don't be ashamed of who you are, but proud of what you've become.
F.R.O.G.

for me it is about, first step 4...looking at my part...then making amends...cleaning my side of the street and doing the next right thing. if they dont accept it...thats their thing...ive done my part and thats all i can do..knowing ive done what i can helps me sleep at night.=)

Step 9 states we make direct amends to them except when to do so will harm them or others... Step 9 comes after Step 8... and there are 7 other Steps before that... You can learn how to face the wreckage of your past by attending some meetings in your area and getting the guidance from a good sponsor on how to do the steps.