I went to a meeting tonight and I talked about what was going on and they were asking me about my growing up years and then about past relationships and i was telling them how bad they were and how I am uncomfortable with having someone who treats me well. and then we were talking about myself esteem and how I feel like I dont deserve happiness and good things in my life because of all the bad things I have done and the way I saw life. and the more we were talking I was starting to wonder if i am just scared to have soemone this good and if i really deserved it? because when my hubby was going to leave I started crying and I told him that i didnt want to give up on six years of marriage and that we both are just so new to this and that we are just getting to know each other for the first time. so we have decided to just live one day at a time and take things slow and he is going to work his problem and I am going to just work mine....the meeting was an all ladies meeting and they really broke me down and opened new things up in my eyes. so now I have to just focus on today and we are also going to do some marriaging counsoling with someone that deals with recovery.
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