I keep trying to just not do it anymore, I haven't seen anyone about it; but when I get in a bad mood or stressed it's all I can think about. Sometimes I burn and I feel like I have to have it or I can't cope at all. It's consuming me a lot of the time because I plan out how not to get caught and how to do it without anyone around. I don't know how I got here, why can't I just not do it? Why does it have such a hold on me, to the point where some days it's all I can think about. Maybe I do need professional help, but at the same time I am scared because what if I have nothing else?
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