Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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When can I voice my opinion?

4mytasha
4mytasha
I didn't say to my X that I wanted him to address his drinking problem until I was 12 years sober. Our marriage ended 2 years later after I left and filed. BUT, I have a sister that wastes my time with drunken phone calls and then she fights with me saying I am uncaring when I couldn't understand her conversation in the first place! So, it's MY fault. When is it ok to voice my opinion (without sounding PREACHY and like a know it all?)I tell her OVER and OVER that she's followed in my footsteps and to see the devastation before it's too late but she doesn't listen. I KNOW you have to be the one that wants to stop the trail of destruction but good gravy all ready. I quit when I was 32 and my kids were 2 and 3 and they don't have ANY memory of me drinking. My sister continues and she's 38 and her kids are 7 and 9 and see it ALL. Too late for the kids memories but not to late to change it. She and her husband drink and drive, fight all the time because of drinking. I guess I just answered my question. There is never a time. She needs to get the answer herself and all I can say is to STOP wasting my time and hope she doesn't get mad. It wouldn't matter how mad she got if we didn't work together everyday.
Mutley1946
Mutley1946
Some call it tough love, I call it caring. You cannot help your sister or her husband until they want the help. All they will do is take you down with them. Turn them over to the care of God or a Higher Power.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with happy. If you have planted the seed of A.A. that is all you can do. Being an example of what A.A. can do for alcoholics is all we can do. I have to do the same thing with my brother and my father. My relationship with them is very limited due to the choices they make. I will be there when they are ready. If that is not their path then so be it. It's up to God to decide that not me:)
jimmysquirrel
jimmysquirrel
what you can do is tell her (when she is sober... or at least comprehensible) to not call you when she is drunk, and tat when she does... it better be for help, somebody is dying(literally), or that you are going to hang up on her.
I had to do that with a couple of people... it is hard... but you aren't enabling them anymore.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This disease is a tough one, some ppl will die cause of it, not everyone stay's sober.for whatever reason's that go on in they're head's. All we have to worry about is our selves and things seem to go ok, or you can try alanon,or codependant meetings. She has a right to her misery just let it go. take care of yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with rob and jim. You need to put your sobriety first. All you can do is plant a seed of Aa then the rest is up to your sister.

You cannot enable them or you may put yourself in jeopardy. And like happy says it's tough love.
deleted_user
deleted_user
jesus christ mike, get a new avatar. your not helping anyone with that view of the puppest master comming at them. giving nightmares if anything. this is a place to get help man.........geee
4mytasha
4mytasha
I think YOUR avatar is extremely nightmarish!!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I sometimes feel the same way. I got sober 21 mon ago but close family and friends of the family didn't stop drinking and saying & doing things that put me thru the roof. I found that when i feel myself reaching that point i have to withdraw and have my alone time. sometimes one or more want to follow me and talk and i am just very blunt...we have the right to tell anyone not to call when they are drinking or anytime else for that matter. You cannot save her just let the kids know you are always there for them.
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