Hi. It sounds like you could learn alot at AA, and your husband at Al Anon. It is a good place to find out we're not alone in the obsession and craving, and there is hope and help available. It sounds like you are right where you need to be.

I just wanted to add my own praise for AA in addition to loved 1. It has given me hope and the cravings are rare after only 30 days.

I read your profile, do you still think you could drink in moderation? Do you still not think you're an alcoholic?

I remember those boxes of wine. I blew through a white wine box in 2-3 days, then I'd leave the empty box in the refrigerator for a few days so the roommate wouldn't know how quickly I went through it. After that I switched to red wine so I could keep it in my bedroom. I'd also have a bottle of flavored vodka in the freezer, and a little one hidden in my room to top off the cold one. This was so they wouldn't know how much I ingested; after all, they wouldn't understand that I could handle that much.

Are you ready to stand up and say, "My name is.....I'm an alcoholic"? That way you could share that you need help, and you'll get it. Who better understands a drunk than another drunk? In AA you could learn about the tools to use when the obsession seems overwhelming.
Best wishes to you with whatever you decide to do.

Oh Boy, been there done that as they say.

The madness of drink knows no boundries, it is not till you get help or stop that you can ever understand this.

Drink begins to rule every emotion, we do not think properly, we just live to drink but do not understand why

Get all the help you can meetings, doctors the lot.

By being here you are on the first step, well done and I wish you well on your journey

Alcoholics come from all walks of life and are real people with feelings who, in the right place can support each other and help each other to stay away from drink. For me, I had let myself go a long time ago and through recovery learnt to get to know myself again and now I am able to really take part in life, not just watch it all behind a haze of alcohol. Its hard to stay stopped and is also a killer disease so seek out the help and give it everything you got. Go for it. You re worth it. xxxx

i completely and utterly agree with you debbie. alcohol is on my mind practically all of the time and has been for a number of years. i struggle daily and having moved in to a new place with a mate it's got worse. i hope you can control your drinking in the future. please don't drink and drive. i got caught 2 years ago and standing up infront of 3 judges is very humiliating and you realise that no one there has a drink problem, just you. AA isn't always the answer. It's religious nonsense. Find out whats best for you!

This is not an AA site and AA is not the only way. I thought I'd share what's worked for me since 1994, maybe something else will work for you. AA is about finding a higher power, it has nothing to do with religion.

Hi, I am 51 and alcohol has been a huge part of my life. I too, tend to become obsessional about it. What has helped me is substituting exercise or yoga. I also pray alot.
The odd thing about this age is that your body and mind start revolting. While I have never lost a job (came close once) or a husband, I lost plenty of time in a haze. Depression also reared its ugly head. My last drunk I fought with hubby, then woke up in the middle of the night obsessing about how I would die a drunk unless I quit.

Good Luck!

Hello there. I am 40 years old and it sounds like we have a lot in common - right down to the behavior of your husband. I am struggling with this disease and I am working on a recovery plan that will include therapy, AA, exercise, prayer. I have tried many times to stop and I've always ended up drinking again within a few weeks or so. I don't have "the answer" for you. I just want to say that you are not alone and I am the exact same way. I drink about 2 bottles of white wine a day, sometimes 3. Sometimes I will start to drink around 9 am, other days I start in the afternoon. But, I will tell you, so often I think to myself at 2 or 3 in the afternoon "well, I haven't had a drink yet - isn't that peculiar?" And, thus I head straight to the store and I just cannot wait to pour that first glass of wine and sit back and feel the stress and troubles fade away. But, it doesn't stop there - it always ends up the same way - many, many glasses of wine until I black out, or am very drunk a fighting with my husband...I have had DUIs and have lost the respect of people I care a lot about. So, I know that for me I really WANT TO CHANGE. I know this is a really long reply, but the last thing I want to say is that it is very, very unhealthy for your husband to be making you his "project". Only you can do the work of recovery. I have a husband who is trying to run my life, control me, tell me when to go to meetings, etc. Its awful. And, he may feel he is doing it out of love, but the co-dependence there is really messed up. He needs to work on his own issues (and when I say 'he', I mean your husband and also my husband). I have a lot more to say on this, so obviously your post really impacted me and has made me think! But, this is getting way too long. So I will sign off by saying "GOOD LUCK!"

I think this is the first time I've quoted the Big Book but I thought this was appropriate.



Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of hanging out at bars. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him and he goes out on sprees several times in succession. Presently he gets drunk again and this time he ends up in the hospital. Within a week after leaving the hospital he's back drinking. He tells you he has decided to stop drinking for good, but in a few weeks he is back drinking.
On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied by his continual promises to be careful or to keep away from the bars altogether. Finally, he can no longer work, his wife gets a divorce and he is held up to ridicule. He tries every known means to get the drinking idea out of his head. He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways. But the day he comes out he races back to the bar, which sets off another spree. Such a man would be crazy, wouldn't he?
You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. But is it? We, who have been through the wringer, have to admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking, the illustration would fit us exactly.

Someone on the site changed the words, here's what I meant to post.

"Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him and he is slightly injured several times in succession. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out. Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you he has decided to stop jay-walking for good, but in a few weeks he breaks both legs.

On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied by his continual promises to be careful or to keep off the streets altogether. Finally, he can no longer work, his wife gets a divorce and he is held up to ridicule. He tries every known means to get the jay-walking idea out of his head. He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways. But the day he comes out he races in front of a fire engine, which breaks his back. Such a man would be crazy, wouldn't he?

You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. But is it? We, who have been through the wringer, have to admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking, the illustration would fit us exactly. However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane. It's strong language - but isn't it true?..." (from Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 37).

Someone's digging up old posts again.