Hi ejw and welcome. I am glad you are here. A sponsor is a guide to help us work through the steps of recovery. These indivuals tradtionally have some soberity time under thier belt and have worked all the steps with a sponsor themselves. We work with our sponsors for two reasons.

1. They help guide us on our step work and challanges of recovery using thier experience strength and hope. This knowledge comes from when they worked it with thier sponsors, and thier sponsors worked with thier sponsors..etc.. so on and so on.

There are certain things we do that will require one on one help with another person. Our sponsor is thier to help us move through recovery and from time to time help make us accountable for our actions and behaviors. They are not authorities nor are they responsible for our recovery. These are men and women who have found a better way of living through the recovery process. I am from an old school of thought that says Men should work with Men and Women should work with Women when starting a program of recovery. This has proven very helpful in my past experience.

2. Sponsors work with us because it can help them as well. Working with others is an important part of staying sober. Sometimes as a Sponsor I feel I get more out of it than the sponsee so I am always excited when I am asked to help. We have a saying that goes: You can only keep it if you can give it away! This is so very true.

When we first join a recovery group we are encouraged to seek out an individual that seems to have what we are looking for. They may say things or reach out in a way that we can connect to. We may also choose a "temporary" sponsor who will help us early on until we can really connect to a paticular person.

It is important we be strong and connected to those who have traveled this difficult journey before us. The bonds and friendships we make with our sponsors can be life long. My sponsor has been a mentor, friend, pastor, advisor and so much more. When times got really hard for me early on, he was thier to calm me down and remind me of what needed to be done. I thank God for those who stepped up to help me.

The fellowship in recovery is a great method of support however we tradionally spend more time working one on one with our sponsors to help us recover. Thier is also some great literature available if you would like to read more. Congratulation on the courage you have found to make you life happy joyous and free. The ladies here are wonderful. They will be able to share more on how to approach the right female sponsor.

Hang in there and God Bless!

Should I wait for someone to offer to sponsor me, announce I'm looking for one, or ask an individual quietly?

Morgan.. find someone who you can relate to with the quality of sobriety you want for yourself... ask this person to be your sponsor and do exactly as he/she tells you... let them guide you to your new found life..... best of luck.

No a sponsor is not a counselor but many times ends up being a lifelong friend. A sponsor is a person who's properly armed with facts about him/herself, a person who's been where you've been, and a person who offers a real solution. He/she is man/woman with a real answer. No holier than thou attitude. Just a sincere desire to be helpful. Until such an understanding is reached with another, little or nothing can be accomplished. This comes from the Big Book p.18 last 2 paragraphs. These are the attributes you should look for in a sponsor.

thank you billw, i just got the book and have been kinda jumping around in it.

that what i like about our friends here we learn all the time.
bust wishes ejv.

doirothy
from Wa State.

A sponsor is some one who themselves are in recovery and have and continue to work the steps. It is recomended that men have men and women women. This should be someone whom you can relate to and confide in. You are eventually going to share some of your deepest darkest secrets with this person so you may want to choose someone that doesnt get into the gossip section. You should ask them they will help guide you not only in the steps but also through every day problems thoughts feelings and emotions that many of us havent dealy with for years. They will probably become your best friend and confidant. Be choosy be patient and god will show you who to choose. Preferrably a year sober them selves.