i have been sober for 4 mnths. good for me. but tonight for some god awful reason im having a hard time saying no. i want to drink tonight. but i dont. i dont want to loose my subriety. but i almost dont have it in me to not drink. i dont wanna go out to drink i want to just sit here nad drink and play an on line game....seee i even have a plan. i have a support group but im choosing not to call and hear...meditate, talk to god....bla bla bla. im tired of the fight. im tired of not being normal and can go for a drink with friends. ahhhhhhhhhh. i know what i should do...then why in gods name dont i do them??? grrrrrr. simple....cause i want to get drunk. i dont know what this night holds in store for me.
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