well im still at rehab n its gettnig tougher each day, there has being days wen i feel like jus quitting, not because it aint helping me but coz i havent being honest, iv relapsed alot recently , its gettting to the point of everyday again, n its killing me coz i know that it has stopped working n all im left is my thinknig n me, and i hate the person staring back at me, im at this jumping point where i cant live with or without alcohol anymore, i jsut cant seem to let alcohol go, its being a big part of my life 4 so long now, its so scary to imagine life without booze but then again doing rehab n aa its took all the fun out of drinknig now coz wen i drink now all i picture is the slogans at aa n wat the people in aa say n i feel guilty,RITE NOW IV HAD TO GO BACK INTO MY PAST N ITS SO PAINFUIL , its like i see the past like it was yesterday its jus openend old wounds again n they wont heal not till i talk bout it more but i think if i talk bout my past any more im going to break down. i have this boyfriend who i met in rehab n its turning into a distaser, its like were bouncing off each others problems n i know any day im gonig breakdown, iv had enough, if i knew its was goniga b this hard to keep sober n stop using i would of never gone to rehab
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