I've been having this weird thought creeping around in my head that all the time I was drinking I was a fraud. I was pretending to be what people saw on the surface, a young, healthy, independent person with goals, aspirations and the ability to achieve them. I have a decent home, a decent car, a good relationship.....but what I really was, was a miserable drunk, hiding in my house. If I ever had to go anywhere after 4 or so in the afternoon, all I could do was think about when I would be done so that I could go drink. I spent my days in a hurry to get my responsibilities out of the way so that I could get down to drinking. I drank at home so the only people who ever had to see that side of me were mmy immediate family. I never called anyone or invited anyone to my home because it interfered with my drinking. Yet through all this, I maintained a facade of normality. Yup, I was a fraud. It feels good to actually BE the person people are seeing......finally.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...