Your probably saving his life,I'd leave the duration time up to the counselors at the rehab,they know what they are doing.In the meantime, go to alanon,it will help you tremendously. alcoholism is a serious disease.I hope he gets the help he needs and sticks with it.Note: forget guilt, i can tell you love him.

How very sad. Alcoholics can have levels that high but not young new drinkers. I mean hard core alcoholics, he can still be an alcoholic.

There really isn't anything a person can do to make their children, spouses, and loved ones want to want to be sober. Nothing! If there was it would have been capitalized on a long time ago. Many people die before a few get sober. It is a very sad fact.

Your love, hope, courage, faith, God, religion, forced incarcerations will not make him want to want to be sober. Only he can do that. He has to reach a point that he wants to get and be sober.

You can help him with that though. How? By not bailing him out. By not being a codependant to his drinking...in other words make him call his own boss if he is to hungover to go to work. Or make him bail himself out of jail, or pay his own rent when he drank up all the money.

You can also use this experience to open up a whole new avenue of talking with your son. You can always ask him directly about his drinking and going to AA meetings. You can always give him a ration of crap when he is screwing up. You can always give him hell, just to save his life.

You can also pray. My mother was great at praying for me when I needed it and it always worked. Scares me to death actually, but here I am clean and sober.

If the police want to arrest him or don't talk them into doing that. It will force him to go to certain meetings and maybe even a therapist. Let him sleep in his own bed, even if it is full of puke, piss, and whatever.

I agree with the last response (SKingit), That is an awfully high alcohol level for a seasoned alcoholic, if he's 17 and this isn't the first time, you're doing the right thing.
As for the question of 90-days involuntary versus 30-days voluntary, that is something you need to discuss with the counselors. It concerns me that this has been his behavior after losing his brother 2 years ago, he might need to get to the bottom of some issues.

Make sure whatever your decision is, that it's an informed decision based on what the professionals say, not on what your 17 year old wants for his summer; because this decision might be the difference between him having half a summer and a short life or no summer and a long life. What does his recovering alcoholic father think of this?
Good Luck with this.

Thanks for the comments. Does this mean that if 90 days is provided then it should be taken? Financially he is covered all the way. I just wanted to know why they wanted him 90 days instead of a 28 day program.

Talk to the professionals about that, we're not professionals.
Good Luck

The 28 day program will never work. I'm 40 years old and have been trying to quite for 6 months now. I can't afford to go into a treatment center, but if I could I really would. I can get past the 30 days and almost make it to 60, but always fall short!! If a person can actually hit the 90 day mark, their body has stopped the craving!! From an alcohlic trying depsparetly to quit, leave him in the 90 days and pray!! This is a heard road to be on, I want so badly to get to 90, we will see as I'm on my 4th day AGAIN!!!!

my parents had me involuntarily committed when i was 17 for anorexia. i literally broke down and fell on the floor grabbing their ankles trying to get them to not leave me there. they had lied to get me there telling me i was going to another wing with people who were more like me (seeing as how i was in a childrens hospital, i thought they meant more of a teen ward. at the time, i lost faith in my parents. i thought was they did was so wrong and spiteful, i wanted to kill myself just to get at them. looking back on it, it was the only thing left they could think of that would save my life. now, i just hope that the fright of losing another son isnt the only thing you put him in there for. i realize the hospital said he had a high BAC, and i know this wasnt the first time. however, maybe he felt you overreatced and shouldve tried putting him in an outpatient first and going to meetings with him everynight. my family has been very patient with my alcoholism becuase its VERY prevalent in my family (except with the pastor and hish wife ....who im currently staying with). and they have given me options. deals. i stay clean and sober fro one year, i get a volkswagon. i hold a job and pay my own rent here with them, and they will remoake the room above the garage so its actually like a real apartment. i am currently broke, so i landscape and clean for them. they tell me what a good job i do, i feel better about theings.....remember, its all about how you feel about yourself. you dont drink yourself into a blackout when everything's hunky dory. the key to building self esteem is simple: DO ESTEEMABLE THINGS!

jinx85 I disagree. I'm sure you were furious with your parents for doing what they had to do to save your life. Based on what you described about grabbing their ankles, imagine how much they must have loved you to leave you there after that. If they hadn't, you might not be here to talk about it. scmombl, you need to do what you need to do to save your son's life.

jinx85 I disagree. I'm sure you were furious with your parents for doing what they had to do to save your life. Based on what you described about grabbing their ankles, imagine how much they must have loved you to leave you there after that. If they hadn't, you might not be here to talk about it. scmombl, you need to do what you need to do to save your son's life.

scmombl, I think you are doing the right thing. It takes tough LOVE to do what you did. I started drinking at 15. I wish my parents had taken notice and done something like that for me. I too, would have been furious but that's life. You know how kids are. They will say and do anything to get their way. Especially if they are alcoholics. I agree with the suggestion you go to alanon. If the rehab center has meetings for loved one, parents whatever go to all those too. Do not feel guilty. You are doing good by your son. God bless.

Thank all of you for your comments. For the record... In January I had my son arrested for possession of drug paraphenalia (in my home) and he was put on a pre-trial program for teens. He failed to meet the obligations there. I then committed him into a 5 day psychiatric hospital after a huge drinking binge - that was in April. He then went to outpatient for 2 days/week for alcohol/drug treatment. THEN - last Thursday ended up in the hospital. SO - I am trying everything. Yes - I know I am overprotective because I lost a son (in an accident) but I refuse to lose a son to alcohol or drugs. If my oldest son had died because of this I don't know how I would have handled things. I will give up my life to keep my children alive... then, if - God forbid - this one does die because of alcohol or drugs I will honestly be able to say that I have tried EVERYTHING! It is HIS fault he is where he is... not mine! I have turned my worries into anger and a BIG resolve to get him straight NO MATTER WHAT. So 90 days or a year... I don't care. I WILL do what it takes at this point. Then in November when he turns 18 it will be up to him.
Thanks again!

To me it sounds like you are doing everything we would normally do. That is all you can do, a truly helpless feeling.

We will pray for you, his age isn't the reason he may not get sober. I know several people who got sober at that age and younger. Their lives are wonderful now and they are only 24, 25.

Just keep giving him a hard time, you don't have to accept his behavior ever.

It is now generally believed that "28 days" is not long enough to launch someone in the right recovery direction. Even if someone is totally ready to change, ongoing support is needed. Ninety days MAY be a better option, but it would depend on a lot of factors that are too detailed to get into on this board. Treatment programs are of widely varying quality and approaches. Your family and their role are another strong factor. As another person mentioned, your ability to continue to support him after the initial inpatient treatment is probably as (if not more so)important than the actual length of the inpatient treatment itself. But the most important thing is your SON'S WILLINGNESS. If he is NOT ready (and I don't mean to discourage you, but the lucky ones that find and keep sobriety at 17 are few and far between)all the inpatient treatment in the world will not help the outcome. If he agrees to 28 days, why don't you just start there? A LOT of things happen in 28 days, especially in substance abuse treatment. He may change his mind and agree to 90 days. Or everyone may decide that the 28 days is enough of a springboard. I hold a doctoral degree in a high risk health profession. I willingly sought treatment, and went to a facility that specialized in treating MDs, PharmDs, etc. The STANDARD in these types of professions is SIX MONTHS of treatment (not all of it inpatient, but some form of combined inpatient, PHP, and/or IOP). After a month in a PHP type setting, my money was gone (I was a student at the time so had no resources, only big debt). The staff wanted me to stay at least another month in the PHP, but the medical director decided I was OK to go to IOP at that point. I spent another month or so going to IOP in the eves. I have been sober since 2003. Some of my peers were in treatment for 6 months and were back out using again before a years time. The difference between me and them? I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and worked my ass off in treatment. And continue to do so everyday. Remember that recovery from these types of mental diseases is WITHIN THE INDIVIDUAL. Treatment provides only the tools to be used, the person must choose whether to use them.

Good luck and keep us posted!!

Spoke to my son tonight.. he is resolved with the 90 days! Whew... I am breathing again. I know it will be a tough road for him and I will be praying for the best.
REALLY want to thank all of you for being here. I have gotten some really good comments and messages. Thank God when there is trouble there are people like all of you to talk to!
HUGS to you!

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