I remember reading Bill once wrote that our alcoholism is unconditional. That there will be no hour, no day where I will not be an alcoholic. No matter if it's a once and a lifetime celebration or a big sarrow - I'll never be able to drink normally. By the grace of my Higher Power, one that I found as a result of continuing to come back, and in working the steps, specially 1 - 9, most days I know this truth deep in my bones. But life on life terms can sometimes suck. I'm going through a lot of stress, a lot of "lack of power" and I'm hurting. I lost a child in sobriety and eventhough I'm staying connected, doing my reading, working with other alcoholics....the pain is still throbbing. And it's always been my nature to reject God. At least I didn't pick up right? Love you all!!!
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