I am a substance abuser who lives with an alcoholic. I haven't realized until one year after living together how this is affected me. Lately, I tend to drink with him even when I really don't feel like it. Everything we do has to include beer with it. I love him very much and would really love to say that I would want to be with him forever, but honestly I am feeling very negative lately. I posted a while ago about his driving without a license (another anxiety). I have tried to talk to him about doing other activities and sometimes we do. But the majority of the time it involves drinking. I also never know what mood he'll be in so I am walking on eggshells when he starts to get a little buzzed. Lately, he has been taking off when I have my son for the weekend. He left last weekend and said he was going over his uncle's (a block away). I had a feeling and called and sure enough he was out at a bar (driving again without his license and drinking). I was soooo pissed off. My blood pressure was elevated, my heart was racing, I was having a panic attack while waiting for him to come home. When those events happen, I wish I could just run out the door. Unfortunately, I am kind of stuck right now. The apartment is his and I am bogged with child support payments so it is very difficult to save $. I'm going to start saving though because I need to know that there is an "out" if it comes to that. Just venting....
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