i am still sober after trying to rejoin AA in March. Had “dropped out” of it in April of 2017 and remained sober until a relapse in September 2017. Had been attending meetings regularly and got a female sponsor who didn’t work out because she was starting law school, engaged to be married, etc. she thought she would be able to handle it but it was becoming very evident to me that she wasn’t so I did tell her that I didn’t think it would work out in the long run. After that, I ran into financial difficulty and not really able to afford transportation to and from meetings and don’t know how to drive. I am trying to get disability benefits because suffered a breakdown in February and cannot Work. So, been going to therapy and staying sober. The reason why I am thinking of leaving AA for good is because in my experience both now and prior, I feel like where I live anyway, socializing is almost forced. I am quite introverted and also an empath, so I cannot be in groups for too long or even socialize without feeling very drained and exhausted and feeling that I need to “come down” from the experience. I don’t mind socializing a little on an individual level but even that can be draining. It’s very difficult to explain to anyone but even talking on the phone is difficult. I feel like I lost myself before because this was being forced upon me by someone who I was over dependent on and I attempted to do it for him while remaining untrue to myself. Another thing that I find is that I if I were to talk on the phone at all, prefer to do it like at 7:00 at night or after and many find these hours to be too late. Have always been a night owl and non morning person and sobriety didn’t change that. But I respect people’s boundaries. But I cannot keep trying to force something that I cannot do, and by that I mean extensive socializing. It really is frowned upon here to not do that. I have tried to politely explain to people how I am and am met with strange stares and cold shoulders and told that I am just telling myself that really isn’t the way I am I’m just telling myself that. But that is bullshit it took me a long time to realize how I am and I respect it and accept it. I feel badly to leave the program but any way I look at it, it’s just not right for me.
I like cotton candy, caramel apples with nuts, popcorn, funnel cakes, elephant ears, cheese nachos. Of course I don't eat all of them when I go to the fair I choose what I'm in the mood for that they have. Usually 1 thing. I do like those big salty pretzels also I like mine with yellow mustard. Some times I'm in the mood for a good hot grillled hot dog with yellow mustard and sweet relish. Or a...