I have just done the stupidest thing in the world. For the past 3 or 4 days now, I've been drinking 4 tall boys (just enough to feed the demon) so that I could make it to work and through each day. Today, something inspired me to find some gratitude and I actually felt a little better, that is until the mail came in. My husband has been having an affair since May and I have been asking him when he was putting his cell phone back on the family plan since he's been telling me for 4 months that it's over. So I opened the cell bill to find that he hasn't done that yet...I guess any excuse will do. I've been gagging all day anyway needing a drink, just waiting until all chores were done so I could do so. Well, I'm an alcoholic who has done some experimenting with drugs although alcohol is my drug of choice. After I drank that fourth one tonite, I started shaking and feeling that it just wasn't enough...so what did I do...I went out and spent my last dime on drugs...knowing I have to go to work tomorrow. This stuff is insane!!!!!!!!!!!
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