once again iv ended up drunk and i nearly got arrested last night for bein abusive to police, i ended up in a place that i didnt even know,ive had enouhgh of the booze but i just dont know how to let go of the bottle , iv walked out of aa not for good but walking in meetings drunk is just not right , i feel mentally torn APART, I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME IN MY ROOM AWAY FROM EVERYTHING I WATCH TV 2 BLOCK OUT HOW I FEEL , im a mess and letting myself go , i may not drink everyday like i used to but i drink every other day and everytime i drink i feel ripped apart i dont even know wat im sayin is making sense but, im sick and tired of waking up to the guilt and shame again ive had enough i really have, i feel ashamed, disgusted sick of myself, i just wanna b b sober and not pick up a drink for good but i can see my drinking turning into a relapse
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