this is my first time doing this but i feel as if i need to really talk to someone that is in the same boat as i am i'm a drinker and i have tried so hard to stop and i can give or take a couple of weeks without it but i feel as if i need it to survive the everyday things in life my daughter my dog my job my family i keep telling myself think about your 10 year old daughter she needs you i know she does......... she was a gift from God at the HARDEST time in my life you see back in 2005 my 19 year old son was killed that pain is something that noone knows unless they have lost a child of there own i do have another son but he is a junkie killing himself slowly he is grown (34) and i offer him help but he dont want it he stays at my old house and i have moved somewhere else my son who got killed died in his room at that house and dont get me wrong i still go to see my son but all i feel when i walk in there is sadness so the first thing i do is turn to drinking and i will stay up all night and drink then we fight and we both say terrible things to eachother and i'm to the point to where i just can't take it anymore i feel as if i failed as a mother and i know deep down in his heart he doesn't love or like his sister he feels that since she came along we grew apart we were trying to get closer after my son's death and he always tells me how could you go and have another baby? i didn't want another baby at my age i didn't get pregnant for many many years then all of a sudden when he passed i found out 9 months later i was 2 months along i feel god sent her to me to help cope with the pain of my son's death but my oldest son can't seem to accept that.
Anybody ever had success with getting sex off the brain. 4 months abstinent and I want it to keep going. I know reverting back will not make me feel good. For the most part I do ok. But occassionaly, like today, the urges are quite strong and take a lot of effort and focus. Also hard to find things to keep you preoccupied during lockdown, glad it is ending soon. I'm impressed I have stayed...