OMG! What a perfect way to describe it Obi! The F' it came before & during. The scream lasted the entire time.....

Relapse happens when we are no longer or not yet in fit spiritual condition.

For me....relapse starts when I isolate, stop talking, get 'stinking thinking' and detach from my HP/sponsor/program.

Relapse 'starts' when I question if I am alcoholic. Then I know I need to do action fast!

Sums it up perfectly. That's how it happened to me.

Now I avoid complacency by actively participating in my recovery on a daily basis. Being here on DS is one part of the daily participation.

relapse starts for me when i sit on my own isolate and dont pick up that 10 ton phone to talk to people i found when i went on my hols i was emailing people and phoning people i didnt realise it at the time but HP was helping me along i must always keep in touch with people as we know its life or death today life :0) marky

My relapse began with me feeling down already and then hearing my step daddy wasn't doing well...what I realize NOW is that it wasn't my step dad being sick, it was me going back to my old way of thinking. "I'm feeling shitty and I want to drink". I am changing that way of thinking.

Any emotion that I had in the past would cause me just say F it and do a shot. Now I'm learning a new way to handle my emotions instead of saying F it. It's not just not drinking, it's making a significant change in my coping skills and learning to silence that internal scream.

It definetely starts in the brain!!

Then moves down down down to your wallet!!

And then It's A logistical thang!-(getting to that scum bag dealer) same as a booze shop On a corner or any main st-

Then home or under a bridge!

By the time i've done all that it's over and out!

OXO-I might write my relapse story in me journal,
BECAUSE it's taken me 3 months to get back on ds, with anything positive or self revieling to post-

Once I start I try proving myself right after all by more using and trying to cope!
Fuckn hopeless-

Bee, I tell people that I have nothing to prove - I already know I'm an alcoholic. No doubts, no worries, no more drinking.

To hell with "relapse starts"!

You are in your disease until you surrender to the FACT that you are suffering from the disease of alcoholism and will die without spiritual help!

Guru

Like many of us, I have a committee inside my head. Once in a while, there is a member who still says, "F'ck it, lets go drink." Then a second members, "Sure, why not, it'll be different this time." For a couple of thousand times I believed that second member. He lies. I know that now.

Today when I hear those voices I know I am in deep do-do, and need to: talk to my sponsor, get to a meeting, help another alcholic, or all three, immediately.

For me it is usually when I'm feeling fit and health but bored, lonely and at a loss for anything else to do. Somewhere in my head is this little devil which says 'hey just have a drink tonight, you used to enjoy it'. I soon find out I don't anymore...oh and the screaming comes a few days later when I can't stop!

Yep...refusal to reach out and communicate w/ others...loneliness...isolation..."faulty-thinking"...insane repetition of the same behaviors suspecting that they might work this time, when you know by now that they won't!
You guys are all correct.
AaronW

To me relapse starts when I don't do the daily maintenance on myself. I have to be spiritually fit or surely I will relapse.

I've relapsed for 15 years I've always kept on coming back! I've relapsed on first dates,break-up's,New-jobs,getting sober and beating a guy up at work,after that i felt so bad i drank-

I relapsed after a sober flatmate came home drunk with people from the pub,Igot two years for what I did too One of the intruders-who were robbing the place whilst he had past out on the couch-

I've relapsed in situations where I've felt completely socially Inadequate

complacency starts when you start feeling good

Logical reasons are diminished for me to be sober if I loose my temper-High emotion-

Loneliness

rejection-
An alcoholic has a bizillion resons to drink-

If relapse does'nt kill you it can be the catalyst to great sobriety-
Relapse deepens your compassion for others who struggle-

It's better to relapse have a fucking drink than put a bullet in your head Or a noose around your neck-

Ultimately if you get the help you need you will succeed-

Relapse Is Part of this deal!

relapse starts when my gratitude ends and my willingness has become etchy..everyday i wake up grateful that im at least clean and sober if nothing else stay willing to do anthing it takes to keep it..meaning meetings when i may dont feel like it or reaching out to my sponser when i want to shut down..taking recovery for granted for me is a invitation to failureof its vitalness in my life.