Sometimes I feel like such a yo-yo. Never really comitting to anything. I have been in and out of A.A for years and at times really did start working the program then fell off again. I can't seem to get up to step 4. I never did stay with anything for very long. I moved alot, had alot of jobs, differant boyfriends and all. I have settled down alot tho in the last 5 yrs. but it sure took a long time. I don't even know really why I give up. Medications for depression I have had many. I finally gave up on one recently after 2yrs. I manage to not drink for maybe 1mth. then go again now it's like every 2 weeks. If I go to meetings I come out feeling like very confused. I am not a new comer to A.A. I use to be around it back when people were willing to give rides and go for coffee afterwards and really share. We don't have many meetings here in our very small town and they are between 15-25 miles apart. I don't drive anymore as I lost my license again. I can get them back but it will cost some bucks. I do try to be independant as I use to ride my bicycle to these meetings but hard to do in the snow. I don't know anymore. I feel so burned out. I don't work and I have been looking. I feel I have some real issues that I can't address in A.A. I need some counseling but I have no insurance and no one will take me here as I have no ins. I retreated to my own little world again. I recently drank 3 beers yesterday after 2 weeks. Believe me I am an alcoholic. Usually I don't stop. I am getting sick of being so down and out and feeling hopeless tho.
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