This very statement was made to me after I was able to stay sober for 45 days, and most of those days were grueling. I believe the only thing that kept me sober for those 45 days, were the meetings I went to, the fellowship I felt, and talking to a sponsor every day. Well on that 45th day, I was feeling restless, irritable and discontent, I tried my sponsor, and for some reason couldn't connect with her, I didn't feel like I was going to drink, I just felt that uneasyness. I went to a Meeting, it was a step meeting, I can't remember what step we were on, I think at that point it was all Greek to me anyway. I got home and thought I think I will just have one, I just want to get rid of this nasty feeling I have. Of course I didn't have any in MY house but my neighbor that lived upstairs had my jug of Rum because I didn't want it in MY house, so I went up there and convinced her that I was just going to have ONE to take the edge off ( she is not alcoholic so didn't have a clue) I am sure you know the rest of the story, I just kept drinking till it was all gone, and everything else I could get my hands on, Today I look back at this day as a blessing, because it proved to me that I WAS indeed an alcoholic, and if I had any doubt that ONE drink would get me drunk it was not gone! The next morning I woke up disgusted with myself pissed off mad and all the other emotions we have when we drink! My sponsor called, I don;t know how but I was honest, and she said, well you did what alcohoics do, they drink, don't beat yourself up about it, today is a new day. You drank yesterday you don't have to drink today. That was the best advice I could have got in that moment. I have not found it necessary to pick up a drink since, that was April 6, 2005. evey day is not peaches and cream but like I have heard in the halls, My worst day Sober is still a lot better than my best day drunk!
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