Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

1 Online
1 Online

"Just don't drink today,it'll pass."

It's what I've been told so many times.It does pass for that day,yet the day after and the day after that,the desire never subsides,it grows stronger until it beats me again,again and again.I know this is how I will die.I'm tired of fighting this,I'm tired of always being optimistic,tired of waiting for the day when the urge will pass,when I can awake to a new day and not curse the sunlight that shines through my bedroom blinds in the morning.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I guess the million dollar ? would be, what steps are you taking to get to that magical place where you can open the blinds, spread your arms and just know that it is a great day?
Just not drinking today alone, never worked for me. It will not pass, if that's all you are doing.
deleted_user
deleted_user

What's your longest period sober? Would you be willing to put up with (let's say) 30-45 days of crap, in order to be free?

In the end, that's how I had to look at it. I had to say to myself, no matter how bad I feel, I can deal with it for 30 days. At the end of 30, I was feeling so good that I didn't want to screw it up.

No, optimistic sayings don't go very far when you feel this way, but it really does pass.....not in one day, and not n 3 or 4, but within a few weeks.

What is a few weeks of discomfort out of a life time? Once again, this is how I looked at it.
deleted_user
deleted_user

someone said in a meeting last night,if you dont like sobriety , you can refund your misery and go back out there, it helped me a lot coz i know i had a choice to go back in to that misery. i know your struggling but just stick with aa or whatever works for you. but you have to REALLY want it.

it took me a hell of a long time to really wanting it but i havent looked back since, it doesnt have to be this way for you it really doesnt.

your in my prayers
deleted_user
deleted_user

I know words mean nothing when you're miserable. But I had 45 days recently, the longest I've gone since "realizing" I am alcoholic last year...I went back out this weekend and it SUX! The grass is greener on the other side, you'll find that to be true.

I felt fantastic during those meager 45 days!!! For once in about 13 or 14 years, I felt good upon waking up in the morning....I miss it & will fight tooth and nail to get it back.

I'm so sorry that you're hurting so PP...

BTW..for grumpy who seems to be questioning me a lot lately...I have "realizing" in quotations because I NOW realize that I did NOT "realize" this last year....I think I just did! I believe with all my heart that I am no doubt 100% certain that I am powerless.
deleted_user
deleted_user

PP- Drink when you want but don't give up. Your breakthrough WILL COME!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am drinking @the moment.I am drunk.I am ashamed.#1,I"m not looking for a magic place,I just want to get through another day.#2 my longest sober period has been about 4months.#3,someone always told me something or the other too.Holycrp,I'm drorwing.I'm scared to death!
deleted_user
deleted_user

(((((((((((Pacificprincess))))))))))))
deleted_user
deleted_user

Oh sweetheart I wish I had some magic answer for you, but I don't. I want you to be okay..... :(

Just not drinkin didn't work for me, I believe in the steps & I've gotta do 'em. I didn't think so at first, took a lot to make me a believer...please be good to you.
AnneL
AnneL

You've got hands surrounding you ready to take yours, PP. Don't give up. It only seems hopeless right now because you've been drinking. It never feels better it only feels worse. When we're desperate it's time to do something different because what we were doing before obviously wasn't working. Make a different choice as to how you want to be sober. Love and blessings to you
deleted_user
deleted_user

sweetheart, this was my very first thread. terridasilva sent it to me si i can remember how it was and the way it is today. i never thought i could go 24 hours without a drink or drug but here i am 1 year later. recovery is worth fighting for. what has helped me in the face of adversity is just this one thought: sobriety has to be enough.

don't expect perfect life, it doesn't exist. people die, relationships break up, lost jobs, homelessness and the list goes on and on.

recovery on its own MUST be enough. anyway, here is what i wrote on my first thread.

Subject: your first thread !!!

"do you remember feeling this way? The pain and torture we put ourselves through.... You have grown so much, you need to take a hard look at your growth and be proud of yourself. I am proud of you. from terri"



from me:

"tomorrow i will be begging a ride to a hospital for indigents.i,of course, have had pearls of wisdom to you all that i saw fit to share. unfortunately, i was full of shit and i hope to God i did not kill anyone with my arrogance.

i no longer feel i am going to survive this disease.at this juncture in my life i just want it all to be over. there has not been a time in my life when i fit in. i have never been happy. nor simply content.i hate this world in which i exist. i hate it and those of you who praise life to the heavens i cannot conceive of such a thing.

i am dying. and i feel as if that was the purpose all along.

for those with hopes,dreams and a future-carry on.

maybe next life for me.so pretty to think so..." devon
deleted_user
deleted_user

I know you don't believe it now, but the miracle does happen. I drank since I was 6 yrs old and when i got to AA it wasn't een that I didn't want to drink.

I couldn't live with alcohol and I couldn't live without it. I never would have thought that following directions would lead me to a miracle.

I saw this cartoon the other day. the kid had a paint by numbers and was all over the place and the other kid says, "you aren't following the directions" and the kid says."but then i would get what is on the front of the box.'

That was me. never in my life did I follow directions always had to be my own drummer. and I was "terminally unique". but, ONE day at a time. sometimes one moment at a time I did what I was told to do and the miracle happened.

If it can happen for me. if my little microscopic willingess can work in my life.

Question is...are you willing to go to ANY lengths to get that miracle?
m8bear
m8bear

PP..in your post you say 'it grows stronger until it BEATS me again,again and again.I know this is how I WILL DIE.I'm TIRED OF FIGHTING.'

If you are tired of fighting, why not just surrender?
deleted_user
deleted_user

"It does pass for that day"
Okay, so let it pass JUST FOR TODAY.

"yet the day after and the day after that,the desire never subsides,it grows stronger until it beats me again,again and again."
Wrong tense (grammatically) it DID beat you day after day (btw, it beat me too) but today is today and tomorrow will be a different day, if you let it. If we don't change anything, nothing changes.


"I know this is how I will die."
ONLY IF YOU LET IT.

"I'm tired of fighting this,I'm tired of always being optimistic,tired of waiting for the day when the urge will pass,when I can awake to a new day and not curse the sunlight that shines through my bedroom blinds in the morning."
I UNDERSTAND tired. We ALL understand tired.
Alcohol is a depressant. The euphoric feeling lasts minutes, then we start to drown. Otherwise we would all drink and be HAPPY.

Listen PP I am NOT from the land of the eternally cheerful. I don't believe I have found the Truth the Light and the Way.

I CAN promise you something, sobriety is ALWAYS SANER. That's right SANER.

Some of your demons will disappear with a certain amount of time away from the poison you put in your body. Not all, some. Right now the sun you seek is being blocked by the body's need for alcohol.

I work my program one day at a time for the reasons you posted. I have never said to another person that I would never drink again. I am not asking you to never drink again, it's too impossible to imagine.

Truman Capote was interviewing one of the killers for In Cold Blood, the killer's mother had shot herself, Capote had said his mother killed herself the old-fashioned way, she drank herself to death.

Choose life.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Yes, if you don't drink the urge may pass, or, it may not because it's not about drinking PP. You have to take the action that will remove the urge to drink, alcoholism simply doesn't respond to abstinence alone. The physical urge will be dealt with by abstinence but it will not deal with the mental obsession or spiritual malady which are the two things that lead an alcoholic back to drinking.

Get a sponsor, work the steps, get a spiritual awakening and then the urge will leave you.

Read page 85 of the Big Book, if you want those promises to happen for you then do what the Big Book tells you and you will get them!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I hear ya. White knuckling it for me never worked. I got drunk every time!

That's why I have to go to AA meetings and work at it.