I was sober for awhile but recently went back to drinking again. My bf of 5 yrs broke up with me because I pushed him away knowing damn good and well what I was doing and now I drink some more to dull the pain. I want him back but yet I push him away. why do I do this? How do I stop the pain of loosing him? How do I stop beating this dead horse up? I dont want him to be happy because Im not happy. I want him to be miserable with me again. How sad is that?
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