My grandparents were alcoholics and my entire family (10 kids) drinks to have fun, although none of them are alcoholics. I, however, wonder where I stand when it comes to having a problem with drinking. My husband and I have always drank at least once or twice a week to point of being pretty tipsy. A couple of years ago, I became a Christian and believe that getting drunk is a sin. I know that the day after drinking is ruined. I lack motivation, am depressed (which I am anyway), and just feel like crap. My husband can drink like crazy and it doesn't seem to affect him so he gets mad when I waste a day away. Regardless of the fact that drinking is a concern of mine, I can't seem to quit, even that one or two times a week. The day I know I'm going to drink at night, I am in an extremely good mood. I look so forward to having that first drink and even though while drinking at first I cannot feel the effects, my worries are gone. I can let go and relax. Despite the guilt I have the next day and the lousy way I feel, I still do it again so many days later. I count the days sometimes between times to justify it in my mind. I don't cause any harm when I drink unless I get really drunk, which I haven't in some time; still I feel out of control and wonder why am I feeling so bad? I know people that drink from the time they get up until they go to bed every day. Is it really so bad to drink once or twice a week? My brain tells me I'm ridiculous because it's like hitting my head on the wall over and over again and no matter how much it hurts, I still look forward to doing it again. Can I still get away with doing this for the rest of my life? Am I just creating more consequences as a result of my sins and what does this say about me as a person?
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