Poor me! I'm such a dumbass! I mean if I didn't go gamble five hundred dollars this past month that my dad sent me to help out, then maybe I wouldn't be so friggin broke and have my bills paid atleast and not be so worried about it. Maybe if I didn't pathetically call the abusive exboyfriend last night trying to get him to care, I wouldn't have been hurt again because he doesn't friggin care! duh! Maybe if I would just stick with the friggin program and take care of myself and get to more meetings and talk to people more I would feel better and less alone and depressed. Poor fucking me! I'm mad at myself. what the hell is my problem? I keep sabatoging things. I start to do really good and then fuck it all up somehow. I'm used to it. I'm comfortable there. I dont' know how to feel joy or contentment or happiness or hope. I'm not used to that shit. But I want to. Poor me, I got drunk again, poor me, I gambled all my paychecks and all my money and didn't get my bills paid. Poor me I didn't do what I said I was gonna do. I ate too much icecream lately and got fatter. Poor pitiful me. What am I gonna do with myself? I'm angry.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...