Hey everyone.. I have been struggling with alcoholism for many many years.. I have been in and out of AA, hospitals, jail. Iv'e lost jobs, respect for myself and nearly destroyed several relationships. The longest stretch of sobriety was a while back with 10 months of continuous sobriety then I went back out and for several months drank.. My husband is also an alcoholic. It's been a looong struggle.. However, I have not drank since Christmas and even though that's not alot of time, I truely am grateful to be sober and NEVER want to go back to that way of life.. my husband and I agreed we would get sober togethor because we recognize how alcohol has nearly destroyed out lives and want to have a "better" life once and for all. Here's the problam...... I don't trust him ... Last night I was working and in my mind I "KNEW" he would take advantage of me not being there and drink.. I called him after work, he didn't answer phone ...later he called me and said he was talking to his boss all the way home and that's why he didn't answer.. he was supposed to get out daughter from daycare and was late... a present from one of our old bar "friend" mysteriously appeared on our doorstep. My 6 yr. old called me at work and said Daddy smelled like "Peppermint" when he picked her up. (Rumplemintz?) I asked him on phone about all this,, he got angry and denied drinking and hung up on me.. when I got home, I thought I detected the faintist smell but wasn't sure.. He didin't sound or act like he had been drinking.. I apoligized.... He accepted.. I still don't know.. I guess I just am so scared that if he starts drinking again so will I as that is our pattern... I'm scared I will relapse because of it.. I just need to learn how to focus on myself and staying sober but I have this detective like attitude.. ugh! I;m rambling.. sorry.. just looking for feedback.. thanks.
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