The urge to drink today is kind of overwhelming. I can't even say that anything triggered how I'm feeling. I'm waiting for this alien or something to bust out of my guts (like the movie). It's like this THING is growing inside of me. No amount of coffee or deep breaths is helping. I keep reciting step 1 in my head and taking myself back to my last hangover and that helps a bit but it doesn't last for very long. I feel angry that I feel like this and wish I could have JUST ONE. I want to lash out but who would I lash out at? There's no one to blame here. There's an AA meeting in an hour so I'll head to that even though I don't really feel like it. Someone said to me that is the best time to go ~ when you don't feel like going.
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