Carrie, you are doing well in admitting to the problem in the first place and seeking help. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for that alone. I was kind of in the same place. My life isn't just good it is brilliant, but until 6 weeks ago, I was drinking it away. I had a sudden realisation that if I continued, I could lose it all - again. I have kept going to meetings, talking to my hubby and using this site, I have just about got through the last 6 weeks. At times it has been ok, and others it has been difficult.
The happy and depressed part of you is very common in AA, and we tend to use any emotion as an excuse to drink, with in itself leads to further mixed up feelings, and low moods.
About tonight - do you have to go? Can you not get out of it to keep yourself away from temptation. I have had to turn down a night at the rugby club on saturday, as I fear the temptation too much at this stage. Is there no way you could possibly get to a meeting if you really wanted to, or are you doing as we all do, and making excuses. Why don't you give someone from your local AA a call instead and talk things through, it may be better in the long run, and you will be able to hold your head up high when you look in the mirror tomorrow morning. Just a few thoughts ... take care XXX

Well mysister is coming over and I don't get to see her often as she lives 200miles away. I also haven't told her I'm going to AA - I know she'll be fine abaout it, but I'm just not ready to do that yet. I have planned to go to a meeting first thing tomorrow, but I could do with some tis on how toget through tonight.

Sorry, my typings dreadful, I meant to say I need some tiPs for tonight, not the other thing that I wrote!! LOL

It is rather simple... If you are uncomfortable.... no matter what.... do not go... tell the ppl you cannot attend because you are afraid you will drink.. true friends will change the plans to do something else... not so true friends will try to talk you into going... Uncomfortable... don't go... If you must go, drive yourself there and be ready to leave the minute you get uncomfortable.

well, can't say you are anything different from the rest of us. i know my roommate called me a "garden variety" alcoholic and it pissed me off. i wanted him to know i was a bigger risk taker, humiliated myself more,did more harm to my body (seizures etc.) and it finally occured to me as if i was giving myself some kind of award for this desperate behavior. i went farther with it when i should have known better but that does not make me different than you.don't waste your years. we are here on this planet for such a short time. be someone.end the tragedy of alcoholism now. love, devonh

I know wha you mean, I want to say look how much I drink, and listen to my head when I drink but why do I feel the need to justify having a problem. I guess I just want someone else to know how hard this is, but am to embarrassedd to tell someone. Life is so confusing sometimes!
I will drive to my friends, I know I won't drink and drive. I am now thinking of excuses to leave early if things get bad.

definitly have a game plan if your urge comes on.
leave .. call your sponser ..go to a meeting ...get on DS
you can do this

Thanks - I don't have a sponsor as I have only just started going. I also only have 1 phone number and I'm not sure what I would say to her if I called her up. But you know what? If it gets bad, i might just call anyway. I am actuallyfeeling a little better reading through the posts and your replies. Guess we'll see how it goes.