its being 3 weeks since my last drink and ever since iv put the drink down,my head is spinning rounfd and round like a washing machine on auto pilot,i have a sponsor but i let her coz 3 times i let her down and i rushed into it so im looking for a new sponsor now,i have fell 4 dis guy in the rooms and its messed my head up so much i nearly picked up a drink, i thought by not drinking life wud get better but its worser coz i hate living in my own head n living in reality,i want more than anything to beat the booze but, maybe there is a drink left in me,maybe im not ready yet to put boozse down but at the same time i dnt wana b that drunken mess again who was a nuisance to every1 escpecailly herself,i think deep down apart of me doesnt want to let go of that effect drink gave me, the bootle was like my secret lover, and its like im greiving 4 that 1 last drink,ive done so well recently, but i can see it all falling apart before my very eyes.
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