Lets pray he can pull himself back or seeks help sooner rather than later.

Its damn right scary how we can just go back.

My thoughts are with you all, keep us posted

Trickey

I am so sorry for what you are going throug. What Trickey said is the best answer. We should all pray for your dad to get the strength to do the right thing.Thats the only thing you can do for him right now. Good luck

"The Family Afterward" in the Big Book is a great chapter. Read it as the daughter, not the alcoholic. Also, al-anon might be good for you. At least some of their literature. You can be an alcoholic in al-anon as well. ;) Just my suggestion on knowing what works for me. Otherwsie hang in there and know he is just a sick child of God - just as I am. Good luck!

I'm sorry to hear that morgain, I've been there and unfortunately my situation didn't end well.
I will say a prayer for your dad, and especially for you.

You need to use tough love with him, no more Mr. Niceguy, he has had enough tries for that. You all need to work on your lives without him. Your mom needs support and people need to stop spending money on his rehabs.

They have county run rehabs in most places around the county. The gov't pays for the persons rehab. But if he paid any attention in his AA meetings he would know that.

If he tries to blame you or your mom, or the man in the moon for his drinking it is a lie. He is the only one responsible for his drinking, he would learn this in AA if he took the cotton out of his ears and put it in his mouth. He can only teach AA how to drink and they already know how to do this.

Talk to your mom about throwing him out of the house when he drinks again.

Mom told him last time he sobered up that she would throw him out if he drank again but now that he's been diagnosed at bipolar and is not yet stable I'm sure she won't do it. I'm wondering if I should go talk to him since I'm bipolar too. I *know* how bad the mood swings get. But then I've only been sober for 6 weeks. Until then I dealt with it just like he did.

If you know anyone in AA who is also bipolar maybe you can get them to go with you to talk to your Dad. You cannot do it along, you should have help. My father died of a heart attack and complications in July of 2000. That is what the death certificate says. He really died of alcoholism and emphysema. We (my two brothers and myself) could not 12 Step him into recovery. Family can't help family. Needs an outside influence. I pray you Dad gets the help he needs.

It's easy to say "throw him out, tough love, blah blah blah". But getting into recovery is hard enough when you don't have other comorbid mind diseases. BPD with alcoholism may be one of the toughest rows to hoe that exists. I'm not meaning to be pessimistic, esp since you and your dad BOTH have this dual dx, and it does not mean you CAN'T get and stay well, but the relapse rate of people w/BPD and alcoholism is significantly higher than those w/just one disorder or other.
I really hope your dad can get back on track. As you are well aware, getting your mood stabilized is the key to being able to start working on the drinking issues. If you are actively manic, you are most likely going to drink, along w/a slew of other questionable behaviors that put you at risk. The fact your dad had 18 mos sober is a great accomplishment. Again, I'm not trying to be a pessimist, but sometimes risk minimization is something you have to accept in these situations (meaning your dad may be a chronic relapser but the time between relapses may make all the difference--versus never having any sobriety for any length of time). This is a chronic disease (as is BPD) without a cure, only remission, so relapses do unfortunately happen
Good luck to you and your family.