they don't understand what a recovering alcoholic is going through. They think because I am NOT drinking, everything is now wonderful for me (and them); that I have miraculously turned into the normal person that I am expected to be. After a meeting I come home, walk through the front door and suddenly feel like an alien again. The people I live with are not family and I don't know them well enough to call them 'friends'. Unfortunately, they have been effected by my drinking and I feel embarrassed, guilty and obligated to wear a facade:)I am now the good girl everyone wants me to be:) I cannot express how I am feeling to anyone I live with and it can be very lonely. Truth is I am struggling. Am very thankful I can come here and tell it how it is.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??