Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

1 Online
1 Online

Just trying to help

Ok so,, I was just trying to be helpful and supportive. I think that is part of what helps people who are trying to stay sober. I see that my newbie opinion is not all that valid for some. My bad.

I am hoping that getting and staying sober is not a 1 size fits all type of thing or else I am screwd. I am in a program, let's hope it works for me.

Replies

gjm
gjm

I haven't read many of your post's but when I see someone at a week sober which is awesome give advice to a person (happens all the time) that is new that has untreated alcoholism by patting them on the butt saying everything is going to alright without having a plan of action most the time its not going to be alright and they get drunk and maybe die that way.

Just a suggestion you might want to start working on self for long term sobriety what's your plan of action?

There is a saying ya can't give much away that you personally don't have not only in sobriety but just about anything.

Wish the best for ya but again I would suggest working on you.
LindaJean
LindaJean

Actually - the longer we are sober the more we realize that we are quite a bit alike.

I had always wanted to be outstanding and special - and that got me nowhere. Finally dropping that facade, and being a member of a group of people who had similar issues was a life saver for me.
CoogeeMum
CoogeeMum

Ami, the best way you can help another alcoholic is to shine a light for them by your efforts to stay sober. Share your experience and hope, and that's helping others from day 1. I remember the Hope I received from a young lady who was in her first month sober. The want that she had and the effort she was putting in to get sober despite all the shit in her life inspired me onto my path. Keep persevering and sharing how what you are doing is helping you, and that will help another.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I think a for a new person, an alcoholism discussion board is a great place to get your feet wet talking about this. A give and take is maybe what is needed-who knows? Just see what helps-and don't sweat it if folks like or don't like what you say on here. Don't let this place be your end all for help though. It just is not solid enough in my opinion to offer support. I think people give eachother crap in which they would never dream of one on one-it is so dang easy to do on the interenet!

Cannot let it get to you-if it does, just stick to one on one for now. I find people are more civil in those encounters. I like hearing from newcomers and talking to them. It makes me feel good when I see them grow.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am working on self. I started the Smart Recovery program the same day I signed up on this site. In 11 days I have joined 5 meetings and am working my way through the first point of their 4 point program. I also check in through various ways ie. message board and chat to talk about my issues and maintain motivation several times a day. Smart is going to be a long term thing for me. I am not here to bash AA. I just don't think it fits me.

I refuse to not regard myself as outstanding even though I have a drinking problem. Special? no. Depsite my drinking problem, I do great things for my community, my region, and for this country. This is not a facade. Anyone can be affected by addiction problems.

Thanks Mum. I will do so. Maybe not here, but I will continue to do so. This is certainly not the end of my help. Thank you all for your thoughts and encouragement.
Community LeaderExJerseyGirl2
ExJerseyGirl2

Ami -- when you are new, you have a perspective that is important to another new person. You are close to what those first days were like. Personally, talking to someone who had 20 years sobriety would not have meant much to me when I quit. That seemed way too far away. Beyond my conception. Too far away. I wanted to figure out how to get through one day.

When I first joined DS I was about two weeks sober. The people I connected with and the ones who helped me the most were not the people with "long term" sobriety, they were the ones who were close enough to the starting line to really remember what it was like. I got some great advice from people who were relatively new to sobriety (and some people with long term sobriety as well. )

I like your comments. They seems honest and open and I am glad you are here. I value your point of view and I think that new people might find what you have to say useful.
Taradactyl
Taradactyl

If you are staying sober and making progress then keep doing what you are doing.

I think people fail to realize that where we are is the only place we can be and we do what feels natural and right while there. You have a good deal to offers newcomers and old timers alike - its up to them to learn what they need to learn from you.

Anyone is qualified to be compassionate and empathetic. We all benefit from encouragement and support. Some of the biggest influences on my sobriety were those people who weren't so far ahead of me at all.

You are doing well, Ami. Just stay on track. Like others have said, the light you shine will give hope to others. You getting healthy is the biggest contribution you can make to anyone.

Xo
stickywick
stickywick

I love newbie opinions. Here and in meetings. In fact, I often get amazing gems from people who are brand new to sobriety. Not the least of which is a reminder of what early sobriety really feels like, looks like, etc. Its easy to 'forget' or at least it has been for me in the past and that always always == relapse.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey, I don't know what incident you're talking about, but your comments ARE important. I'm glad you're here and I admire your spirit.

Please keep sharing!
gubgub
gubgub

I am a newbie ,well again, five days
and I agree with the sentiment
together we can support each other
to not drink
and to find love and friendship
being sober
I wish you well lovely
keep smiling your special
ScarletAngel
ScarletAngel

I think the source of contention is the fact that newbies are so caught up in the newness of not drinking and the "pink cloud" effect that they tend to disregard much of what the "old-timers" have to say. I believe this tendency stems from the fact that newbies haven't developed an overall "big picture" awareness of sobriety.

To quote the Big Book, "More will be revealed." As the newbie continues along the road to recovery and long-term permanent sobriety, more is revealed. The newbie comes to realize that a vast majority of what the old-timers have to offer is grounded in solid, quality sobriety and backed up by the Big Book. The advice and comments that may have been perceived as harsh, critical or just down-right mean are in fact life-saving and founded in experience, strength. and hope.

My sponsor once told me "the truth might hurt you, but the alcohol will KILL you."

Just keep comin' back.

(Disclaimer: all references to the "newbie" are actually references to myself and my ESH).
gr8ful2b
gr8ful2b

Well stated M.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Well, I don't think it's very nice or supportive to be talking about causes & conditions. I'm such a sensitive soul, don'tcha know:)
deleted_user
deleted_user

What causes and conditions are you talking about Nemo?
deleted_user
deleted_user

Oh, you know, the usual suspects, things like grandiosity, resentment, envy, etc.For me the big one was PDPS, which stands for Post Dramatic Protagonist Syndrome. I was the fallen hero in the last act of a classic, three-hanky tragedy, and I was VERY good at it.