Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
OK I raised the question the other day regarding why people dislike the 12 Step program. After reading through all the replies I think I have a better idea and just want to offer my observations and yes my OPINION.
Pride is the first thing I noticed in almost every reply. The moment the word powerless is offered many rear up. The first thought is they can overcome anything and the idea they are a puppet to something like alcohol is repugnant. The TRUTH is once one has detoxed and completed withdrawal (this can take months ref. PAWS) they DO regain the ability to say NO. This does NOT mean they can control drinking later. They can try, however the odds are against anyone who has been under the influence of ANY drug for prolonged length of time are very low and the addiction will return usually stronger than when they quit.
A CURE? There is NO cure for alcoholism. The only hope for the real alcoholic (note the word real) is total abstinence which will ensure the continuation of REMISSION. A recovered alcoholic is one who no longer suffers from the horror of active addiction and the craving for the drink is gone. (Ref. THIQ and the disease concept of addiction/alcoholism)
Sponsorship and all those people telling me what to do. I believe that while in the addiction we picked up negative behaviors, attitudes and our thinking got twisted. We tend to continue to react to what is seen as criticism but in truth is no more than offering someone the experiences of many and the means to recognize shortcomings along with ways to overcome or change. The feeling of being attacked is due to the similarities in the stories told and/or the idea that those people are able to pinpoint ,so exactly, character flaws is frightening. I will deny NO ONE the thought that will power alone will get them free from their addiction. It can be done. The problem is the lingering anger, resentments, and misery. These things can be put behind but NOT BY YOURSELF.
All the 12 Step program does is use guilt and shame to make one feel worse. Yes at first one DOES feel guilt and shame. Its natural to, after one gets clean enough to think they remember what they did with clarity and understand . That they were the major source of their problems in life is heartbreaking. What many fail to see is that there IS a means to replace ones past with a new one. By learning what we did wrong we no longer have to repeat that behavior. We can create a NEW past starting from our clean date.
The success rate is 100% for those that entered with an open mind a longing in their heart to change and with HONESTY. Relapse after any periods of time is NOT due to the failure of the program but to the individual becoming complacent or so dogmatic in their beliefs that they become frustrated and resentful and quit all together or, and what I see most, an unwillingness to wait for OTHERS to see it working (also know as impatient) and acknowledge those changes.
GOD I was listening to a Christian radio station a few years ago and the announcer threw out the question what is another name for God). After some 2 hours of fielding answers and repeatedly saying yes however that is not the answer we are looking for he said just one word as the answer OTHERS. It makes no difference what your religious affiliation is. Church, AA/NA, name your support group, creationists and yes even atheists. The majority of the population of the world have an innate desire to be of assistance and a source of support to OTHERS. The spiritual side of the program offers a heart to heart connection to the OTHERS in the room even here on DS that is apparent. MY hope is that all gain a connection with GOD himself. I am happy with the connection I have made with everyone here. Even when we DONT agree.
My addendum to step 12 is this. Having made a spirit to spirit connection with the many we have come in contact with may we join together as one to carry this message of HOPE to those that still suffer. May they see what is offered in our words and see the proof as WE offer it through our practicing of the principles of the program.
Long winded and just my opinion and any additions are welcome.
Pride is the first thing I noticed in almost every reply. The moment the word powerless is offered many rear up. The first thought is they can overcome anything and the idea they are a puppet to something like alcohol is repugnant. The TRUTH is once one has detoxed and completed withdrawal (this can take months ref. PAWS) they DO regain the ability to say NO. This does NOT mean they can control drinking later. They can try, however the odds are against anyone who has been under the influence of ANY drug for prolonged length of time are very low and the addiction will return usually stronger than when they quit.
A CURE? There is NO cure for alcoholism. The only hope for the real alcoholic (note the word real) is total abstinence which will ensure the continuation of REMISSION. A recovered alcoholic is one who no longer suffers from the horror of active addiction and the craving for the drink is gone. (Ref. THIQ and the disease concept of addiction/alcoholism)
Sponsorship and all those people telling me what to do. I believe that while in the addiction we picked up negative behaviors, attitudes and our thinking got twisted. We tend to continue to react to what is seen as criticism but in truth is no more than offering someone the experiences of many and the means to recognize shortcomings along with ways to overcome or change. The feeling of being attacked is due to the similarities in the stories told and/or the idea that those people are able to pinpoint ,so exactly, character flaws is frightening. I will deny NO ONE the thought that will power alone will get them free from their addiction. It can be done. The problem is the lingering anger, resentments, and misery. These things can be put behind but NOT BY YOURSELF.
All the 12 Step program does is use guilt and shame to make one feel worse. Yes at first one DOES feel guilt and shame. Its natural to, after one gets clean enough to think they remember what they did with clarity and understand . That they were the major source of their problems in life is heartbreaking. What many fail to see is that there IS a means to replace ones past with a new one. By learning what we did wrong we no longer have to repeat that behavior. We can create a NEW past starting from our clean date.
The success rate is 100% for those that entered with an open mind a longing in their heart to change and with HONESTY. Relapse after any periods of time is NOT due to the failure of the program but to the individual becoming complacent or so dogmatic in their beliefs that they become frustrated and resentful and quit all together or, and what I see most, an unwillingness to wait for OTHERS to see it working (also know as impatient) and acknowledge those changes.
GOD I was listening to a Christian radio station a few years ago and the announcer threw out the question what is another name for God). After some 2 hours of fielding answers and repeatedly saying yes however that is not the answer we are looking for he said just one word as the answer OTHERS. It makes no difference what your religious affiliation is. Church, AA/NA, name your support group, creationists and yes even atheists. The majority of the population of the world have an innate desire to be of assistance and a source of support to OTHERS. The spiritual side of the program offers a heart to heart connection to the OTHERS in the room even here on DS that is apparent. MY hope is that all gain a connection with GOD himself. I am happy with the connection I have made with everyone here. Even when we DONT agree.
My addendum to step 12 is this. Having made a spirit to spirit connection with the many we have come in contact with may we join together as one to carry this message of HOPE to those that still suffer. May they see what is offered in our words and see the proof as WE offer it through our practicing of the principles of the program.
Long winded and just my opinion and any additions are welcome.
-
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
-
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
But I know it doesn't work that way. The growth we experience while working through the steps is vital to continued sobriety. I could not begin to do it until I seek God first. I have tried to do it w/o God and look where it got me. I denied him for over year. He never left me, I left Him. The past is gone, I won't forget it, but I won't dwell in it. I will continue making amends and I will wipe the slate clean tonight when I go to bed and talk to god. I'll scribble nonsense on the slate tomorrow and wipe it again tomorrow night. I do believe in the success and power of the program and more importantly, the power of God's grace to help me through it.
I really do like AA and need to go more but still very unsure of the steps....
Everything else I can understand but there is a LOT about turning it all over to HP, and I do think that other methods COMBINED with AA can be of help as well....why does it have to be all AA....like we have no brains of our owns....cognitive psychology can be a huge help too....
I am NOT trying to offend anyone here ......just stating my opinion...and i do not know it all....
I know that I am an alcoholic
I know that I am powerless over alcohol, ONCE I take the first drink...
I know that I can win this battle with my HP close to my heart, and support of other who understand
I know that I do need help
I know that I have to do lots of hard work, and do not feel I can just turn it over to my HP and expect it to all be better....I have to fix my insanity....I have to do what I know is RIGHT....one day at a time...
Ok, sorry to ramble but can you please try to explain to me why they say that I am powerless when I know I have to work so hard....
Honestly I want to try to understand the steps....
dave
My Higher Power, a God of my understanding, was everyone else around me who helped me to stay sober. On day 1, it was my rehab buddies and the group of drunks at AA. I didn't understand fully, but I knew I couldn't do it alone, so that was my HP.
Someone once said that allowing myself to have a HP was an invitation to humility. And today my Higher Power is whatever I need to get me through the day. Yes, my higher power can be you. A power greater than myself, because on my own, without the principles of AA, the steps, and the reminders from all of you, without the friends who take my hand, I may drink. Right at this moment, my HP is DS. Today I am sober and am grateful for your support. Coogee xxx
On the news one night there was a warning of a possible severe flood the next day. A man watching got down on his knees and prayed to God. Telling God that he trusted him and that he knew God would take care of him.
The next morning the police came down the street with a bull horn and knocking on doors warning people to evacuate. When they approached the man he said I'm staying God will provide.
A few hours later it started flooding and as the water reached his threshold the fire department showed up and said we are here to evacuate you. He replied no thanks the lord will provide.
Later as the water climed up to half the height of his house a search and rescue team came by in a boat and said we are here to save you. the man replied no thanks God will take care of me.
Sitting on top of his chimney surrounded by water a helicopter showed up to airlift him out. the man again said no thanks God will save me.
Shortly thereafter the man was swept away by the water and drowned. When he met god he asked: god i put my faith in You I trusted you why didn't yhou save me.
God replied; I warned you in nthe news. I sent the police to ask you to move to higher ground. I sent the fire department to rescue you. I sent a boat full of rescue workers to get you. I even sent a helicopter for you. What would you have me do? The man had no reply.
Ashley and anybody else who reads this and wonders about the steps. Yes there is work required action must be taken. God sent you the steps to redemption to freedom to a better life. Use them. Don't sit in your house waiting for some miracle to happen. God has provided yu with the means to save yourself. Your only responsibility is to take advantage of his gift.
God Bless Good Luck
Maybe it is arrogance that keeps me from saying powerless....
maybe I do need to look at myself and my short comings as well
I have always been very prideful and its hard for me to trust sometimes....lots of times...lol....
trust has always been a huge one with me....
I will try to keep an open mind always