It starts out that you wake up, feeling nauseated and torn up, from the binge you had the night before. Struggling to remember what you could before you black out. You drag yourself to work, beating yourself up, over and over, you ask yourself why? why cant i put the bottle down after two drinks....why to i tell myself i will never do it again, and wake up the next morning in even worse shape than i was in. I dont want my daughter growing up seeing what it was i saw with an alcoholic parent, and you would think that the guilt itself would help me put the drink away for good. I relapse...and watch those i love, become disappointed in me all over again...its not like it was them i was trying to hurt right? I could never be more wrong...Havent let the light of day into my life let alone someone who can talk me through one day at a time, but maybe we can help eachother.....because im so damn sick of hearing them say, "jeeze, here we go again." I need that forgiveness, before i can begin to heal and forgive myself...and need this place and you people, every step of the way.....so yes, here we go again, i dont want to drink anymore....who's going down that road with me?
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...