ive being reflecting alot n ive realised its the little things ive missed wen i was drinking,like the trees blowing in the wind, the big blue sky and the sun shining down on me, the birds singing, walkin down the street without staggering smelling of alcohol wanting that next drink but knowing wat its doing to me, but most of all wat ive missed is learning how to smile again, ive bein smiling a hell of a lot recently i havent smiled for along time as there was nothing to smile about, i was miserable and empty, i went to fire works display with my family and watching the lovely fireworks in the sky was amazing its something i havent done for years,standin next to my mum and dad and my lil sister is a miracle coz i nealry lost them but i have them back in my life and thats priceless, im dealing with life now instead of running away, which is a big thing for me coz for years iv ran away wanting to shut off but im not doing that no more, i havent being in a police or prison cell for over six months now and thats a miracle on its self, ive changed a hell of a lot , i write in my journal everyday, i pray to my higher power thanking him/her for a sober life daily, i thank my family for giving me a second chance, i thank my drug worker for not turning my back on me wen i nearly left rehab, im back in rehab now and im working hard, iv gone back to aa meetings , n i go 3-4 days a week, n life is good for me, i dont really think about drinknig or using anymore , i do get cravings wondering wat it would b like to drink like a lady but i know that will never happen and i can now accept that today,its only being a week and a half but i feel great sometihng i couldnt say for a long time and its so amazing you guys on here put my arse into gear and i want to thankyou for that and for aLL Ur support, u guys r ace and now im going to stick with the WINNERS.
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