Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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It's Pity Party Time

deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry guys...I've had a few shots. The wife leaves town for good on Sunday. My bet is I never see her again. I've never been good on my own. I always thought I had to be "doing things" for others to feel good. The wife was kind enough to remind me that I was getting all this hurt within months she took over 8 years.

She's right...and I'm an ass. I don't work AA hard enough. I want more of the spirit to be(HP)involved...Since Ive never been in "trouble" or "abusive" like most of the folks in AA I'm having trouble relating to their problems.

All I've ever done is tried to provide for my family, climb the corporate ladder and break the 100K mark. Done it, been there, now I don't want it and now AA is there for me and I won't step up. Again...I'm an ass.

Ativan and Beam...Will I ever learn. What does it take for and ass to know he's an ass.

I've let everyone down...friends, family, sponsors. With all the "junk" I've had to face in the last 90 days would drive anyone to drink (excuse)

I just want the demons to go away for a few days of peace. I will be seeing my grandaughter for the 1st time in 3 month and for the last time of my life tomorrow. I hope I can hold on.

Hope...faith and hope. They say it can set a man free. I'm still in prison.

Too all my friends out there. I reget what I've done and what I'm doing now. I've always wanted to be the face of happiness, faith and hope. (hope the walls don't cave in at church on Sunday)

Do as I say and not as I do...Be kind too yourself today and always. I may not be back for a while. I'm just to ashamsed to be around those who are really trying.

Always
Mac
deleted_user
deleted_user
when you fall you get up and try again!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Put down the shot glass and pick yourself up. Do you want to look back in a month, year or more and wonder where the time went? I know, you don't. Just look at this as crunch time. You have been there before if you were at the top of the corperate world. Sober up and make a strategy for yourself. Allow for your feelings about your wife leaving to evolve and you will too. Go back to a meeting and share, and recieve. I bet you will find more in common than you think. Your visit with your granddaughter doesn't have to be your last. It's all up to you! Be good to yourself!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
i am sorry, my friend, that you are having a difficult time. i noticed in many of your postings that you seemed to want to go through the motions so you could get the family back and not because this was something you desperately wanted for your own sense of worth. until you can find a power greater than yourself--not the wife nor the children nor even the grandkids-- you will more than likely be singing a song of woe for a very long time (possibly til your last breath.) i want you to know i have been in your shoes and i've wasted many, many years attempting to get this thing through osmosis at best. recovery is damn hard work. you cannot wish it so and your higher power (i call mine "God") is not going to do for you what you can do for yourself. i care what happens to every suffering alcoholic and i pray you will see (eventually) the similarities with your fellow a.a.er's and not concentrate on the differences. after all, we are all sharing the same progressive illness. the end being jails, institutions and death. devon
deleted_user
deleted_user
Pity Party is right. Come on Mac...we're all picking ourselves up daily, just in different ways. We're here and we hurt and we stick together. So get your shit together, put the shot glass down, go to bed and wake up and be good to yourself tomorrow.

We love ya buddy!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You gotta put down that glass and dump the bottle down the drain,or better still,flush it down the toilet.Then get the hell to bed.Tommorrow will bring new hope.
Your in my prayers.
LA
deleted_user
deleted_user
put the damn shot glass down, go to bed get some sleep sober up and start again. my sponsor always tells me that if i continue to sit on my pity pot i will get a ring around my dooper. so this time you fell the winners are the ones that keep coming back, i've seen some of your post before and i do believe you want to be sober but you have to be the one to decide that. hang in there and keep coming back. hugs to you. love donna e
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mac, When I got sober and started going to AA. My wife had just asked me to leave. I had never been arrested, never was abusive (though I wasn't pleasant to live with), Owned 4 cars and a 4 bedroom house, three wonderful teenage daughters, six figures in the bank, only had two jobs in my life (no one at work knew I had a problem), from the outside I looked like I had the world by the tail, yet I was dying inside. I started going to AA. I went to lots of different meetings all over town and in other cities. I went to roundups and conventions socialized with AA people. I learned to listen for similarities instead of differences. Were there a lot of people who had been in trouble, you bet, but there were also lots of people just like me. I suggest you listen for the similarities quit throwing up road blocks by listening for differences. Today 13 years later I know I'm no different from anyone else in AA I'm no better no worse just one of and I belong there. I fit in there. Go to a wider variety of meetings and open your ears one day you will hear what you need to hear if you don't leave before the miracle happens.
deleted_user
deleted_user
hey Mac:
when u are done drinking for good and all,get yer ass back to AA and start working on the steps IMMEDIATELY.
Don;t be listening to any pansy asses that say t oatke your time to do the steps either... ie.. how has that worked for you so far ?

As for your relationship with your family, how about turning them ALL over to God, since the eay you handled thngs didn;t work out so well.
Do the steps, help another sick puke and lets see how this all turns out in a very short time.

God Bless
botbotcoco
kluvswt
kluvswt
man, we are all really trying.. u too. keep on wanting to stop, surroung yourself with GOD and his purpose. i ain't perfect.. i drank last nite, but u know what.. that is the first time i have been drunk in a while, and it used to be 2 or three times weekly. we can't expect to change overnite, or over week or over month. it happens slowly.. i am sorry ur family is abandoning u.. i couldn't imagine going thru that and fighting the demons too.. don't go away.. don't let shame and guilt keep u from reaching out.. thats the devil trying to keep u in prison.. remember.. u ain't failed til u quit trying!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mac, I know it's difficult for some to go to AA. There are other ways to get this done. Sometimes we just have to find what works for us.

I started out in Rehad, AA about 2 years, about 7 years in Church.

Find what is right for you if it isn't AA. Just Do It if sobriety is what you really want.

There are churches that offer the 12 step approach also. My doctor told me of one church around my area. Heck, he even told me to tell the Pastor that he sent me to him. (o;

Last time I seen my granddaughter my son came for a weekend stay. I wasn't drinking, but things here got so ugly that same night they got here that we almost had to call the cops. It's sad and it hurts when those little babies of our babies aren't around. I know. And I'm sorry for your pain...all of it.

Always,
Karen
ktharp423
ktharp423
Mac
I have 3 words for you......Turn.....It.....Over. Don't set out on a mission to revive a celebrate recovery group, don't set a goal to get the family back, you can't control that. Turn.....It.....Over.

Go to AA and listen, don't speak. Only speak to share that you're new and you need some men's phone numbers. Stop trying to be the teacher and be a student. Identify, don't compare. There are plenty of AAers like you, you're only listening for what you can't identify with. For example, maybe you were never homeless, or jobless, or impoverished, but you could sure identify with the remorse these ppl felt when they woke up and smelled the reality.
Maybe you'll never save your marriage, maybe you'll never see your grandbaby again.....this is out of your control. Your mission has to be to get sober and be a better person, no matter what happens outside of you you have to want this for your own peace of mind.

I wish you the best, and if AA is not for you I hope you find a way that is.
AnneL
AnneL
I'm so sorry you're in pain, Mac. Ativan and Beam are an extremely dangerous combination. I don't know if you know that or not. You just went through a detox so now isn't the time to give up. I am very compassionate to your feelings. You felt you gave everything and have nothing to show for it. You do, however, want your life. I can tell from your posts that you really want your life. You need to breathe easier, accept that this is a problem for you and more problems will come, really feel the pain of losing your wife, get yourself a good counselor, really try AA and if it doesn't seem to help you then try another path, there are a lot of paths open. Don't be ashamed, we've all fallen. You must be compassionate towards yourself. This is a fall from a great height. You can pick yourself up but sometimes you have to crawl for a while. You don't have to be ashamed with us. I am so sorry for your pain. Peace and blessings to you, Mac.
deleted_user
deleted_user
dont be so hard on your self . get back up and start again , i will be thinkin of you and try try try , one moment at a time
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh man, your in world of dodo right now, and if you want to continue to smell of dodo then by all means stay there, -- BUT if you want a way out then the 1st step is the hardest but the most necessary and you WILL HAVE TO practice it every day, with or without someone in your life your stuck w/you
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mac, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Now is not the time to sit on the pity pot. First, are you ready - really really ready to quit?? Are you sick and tired of what you have become?? I was. I was sick and tired of myself. Sick and tired of what my family was living with. I couldn't go to parent teachers conferences without a shot or two. I couldn't go to a softball game without a shot or two. Family functions? Gotta have a primer. Shit, who was I kidding?? Drink vodka cuz no one could smell it. Tell that to my boss who shoulda canned my ass many times. To take a look at me I'm not that bad, i'm a 45 year old little bit heavy mom. But i was an ugly ugle mean drunk. I couldn't remember anything. I had to drive my son & his girlfriend many times. His GF finally said no more. C'mon Mac. Life has more to offer. You have more to offer. You could be a great role model if you really wanted to quit. But you have to WANT to. No one can tell you it's time. You've got to tell yourself it's time. Good luck. i'm pulling for you man. What I have now, man, it's more than worth giving up the alcohol for the rest of my life. My family actually likes me again - heck, I can even say they love me again. 66 days man, that's what I've got... 66 good sober days. Go get yourself some!! C'mon, we're all pulling for you. tron
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