I will probably be the first of many here.

My Grandfather, Grandmother, Father, his brothers were all alcoholics and died as Alcoholics.

As a baby, my pram would sit in the hallway of our local drinking instituition, and for some reason all these red faced moorons, thought a bit of guiness was good for me.

At home it was chaos, bottles evreywhere, more bottles than toys, crazy people singing, then sluring, then arguing, then fighting, strange world as a kid I thought.

Anyway at 15 when I could take no more, I ran away from home determined never to become like that, something I managed till I was 27.

Then bingo, I am became an alcoholic and it was downhill from that point, but I did not want to be, amybe its in the genes maybe its not, everyone round me drank, it is what I thought normal, but if it was normal, why did it make me ill, and why did it get me into trouble. That did not seem very normal to me.

With half a brain cell left, I decided enough was enough and I sought help.

As for my old drinking buddies, well 2 have followed me into recovery, a third I hope is on the way. 2 have died and the rest continue to kill themselves.

I still see them from time to time, I have not abandoned them, I have just chosen what is right for me, my door is firmly open to my friends, should they choose to take it, the only difference now is I don't drink.

You are just finding excuses not to stop, my suggestion is stop making excuses, deal with your drinking problem, you won't lose your friends, the relationship will just change

Look after number 1 YOU

Trickey

I am newly sober and I know that I am not strong enough to be around people that drink at the moment. I know from past experiance that this will change.

I guess it comes down to whats more important? How much do you want to get sober and stay sober? Thats what i would ask myself. Lots of love and light to you.

Wow. That's a tough situation. What I've learned in AA though is that sobriety must come *first*. I think many people eventually get to the point where they can be around drinkers and not feel the compulsion. I was around drinkers on Thanksgiving and it didn't bother me but they were only drinking a couple beers. It reminded me how different I am. My preference would have been to skip dinner and have several beers. If you always socialize with them with alcohol I would think that would be a trigger. Would they consider cutting out the alcohol for your visits?

i dont think my parents realise there is a problem, its their way of life and i know they dont mean any harm they just dont know we are all killing ourselves painfully

my ? I have is do you think your alcoholic and if so what are you currently doing to treat your alcoholism? If your alcoholic are you going to AA meetings? Have you gotten a sponsor? If the answer is yes to both of those then where are you in the steps? By the 5th step the BB says 'The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.
and what this means is god has started to give us a defense against the obsession. By the 10th step it says this should be our exp " And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition"
I love the program of AA in my exp I have never had to work on staying sober I did how ever have to do these 12 steps which allowed me to seek gods help to be connected to God. The byproduct of my relationship with God is sobriety. There has been booze in my house every day since I got sober. I do construction and there was always booze at times after work ppl drinking company parties. I couldnt change that area of my life and AA never told me I had too. I know God changed me thru the 12 steps. This is from page 101 in the BB.
"Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all.

We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.

In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.

So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't.

You will note that we made and important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?" If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead! "
I love the freedom Aa and God has allowed all of us to live free from alcoholism and drug addiction if one is beat up enough to follow some simple directions.
I hope this helps

abdondon them cause you don't drink that don't make much sense, I am sure you're mother will love you if you quit drinking, if she don't then she is not much of a mother.You are basically just making up excuses to keep drinking wich all alcoholics do,until it becomes so unbearable or some bad legal stuff happens, wich always does,then they quit. If they are good people they would want you to get sober anyway's,think about it?

you may want to read a book called "codependant no more". good luck to you.

You and your mom are close so could you just call her and tell her how you feel? Keep it about you and not her drinking but that you love her and at the same time you are worried about being around anyone who drinks for a while. That you seriously feel the need to stop?

Welcome from Kareen. I think I haved lived your life. My mom is independent..widowed..and at 83 she still drinks about 4 drinks a day. Vodka. I don't know but I told her it makes me sick and she still calls me in the afternoon to say she is resting for the day...and having a drink. I'm 20 days clean. Good luck.

thanx everyone for your advice it helps to have support and honest opinions x claire x