well 2 weeks into my treatment n im not even takin nothing serious, i sit in group n i cant keep a straight face, im fidgity , restless, n hyperi seeit as 1 big joke n deep down i know its not, deep down i know where drink took me but now n then i sneak a drink here n there try n get away with it, n i think wow i aint that bad no more il b ok, iv going back into my old way of thinknig, n my old behaviour n mixing round with ppl who r still drinknig or using ,i steal from shops to drink its like iv forgot i ended up in a nuthouse, i dont ever think bout that, i try n erase that from my headi erase it coz i dont want to remember my time in there, i forget i ended up in jail 6 times, i have no respect for my mum , no resepect for myself10 weeks n il b walkin out those doors n back out there startin a new life, but i have a feeling that i will not stay sober, im learning nothing i see it as a game as a joke n its not,,i dont know how to explain it but its like the walls r closin on me this is my last chance to really make it butall i do in aa or in treatment centres is laugh, wat the hell is wrong with me
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